Having had somewhat of an Apprentice day yesterday, running around London looking for a cloche, fresh oysters and a sourcing a rather exotic looking durian fruit, I feel it’s only apt to edit this week’s Apprentice Awards.
With thanks to the ever wonderful Dave Chambers, we present to you…
Miss Modesty award – Melody – “I used to be able to speak six languages, which I taught myself”. Clearly modesty and plain English weren’t two of them, Miss Woman of the Universe? Ho hum.
Shining star award- After last night’s performance, we’ve taken a real shining to Helen. She delivered one incredible sales pitch and clearly understood the target market and unlike Edna, she connected with the buyers from La Radoute (even without leather gloves).
Shining star award 2- From the ever ambitious Susie, “I want to put myself forward because product selection is my thing”. Closely followed by, “I know nothing at all about France”, you got to give her credit for almost getting there with her stream of inquisitive questions. On the plus side, Susie can say ‘Bonjour’, but that’s the only French word she knows apparently, which leads to the intriguing question of what happens when she has to say goodbye?
Novel suggestion of the week - Tom – “Guys, can you do some market research independent of your own thoughts?” Leon and Melody’s face after that utterly bizarre and frankly ridiculous request was priceless. Then again, their faces in the boardroom as Al’s pal’s Nick and Karen bollocked them for not doing market research were equally good.
Eye candy award- Slim pickings this year and while Dave was slightly obsessive over Jamie Lester’s style and good looks from the last series, this year we’re stuck with the likes of Vincent Disneur, Alex Cabral (who?) and everyone’s favourite accountant- Ed Hunter. Now with pretty-faced Leon gone, we can tell Lord Sugar means real business.
Quotes of the week
“It’s very classic but quite contemporary at the same time”. Melody manages to destroy 2,000 years of art history with 10 little words.
“Do the French like their children?” I don’t know Susie, perhaps they like other people’s children instead? Is France a strange, adoption-based culture maybe? Do their children like their parents? Who knows, maybe we should phone a Frenchman and ask him.
“I think they’re great products. Just not for us” says one shop owner. In other words, your weird foldy phone stand which looks suspiciously like it was constructed out of spent cotton buds is crap and my grandson could make one for 20p.
Apprentice Final Five predictions
With just weeks left of the Apprentice, we gathered some Apprentice fans around H&K towers to get a lo-down on who they think will make it into the final five. Who’s in your top five?