Posts Tagged ‘daily observations’

Funny Women and my frock

posted by Peter Lawlor

I am still chuckling from last night’s Funny Women 10th Anniversary Charity Challenge

Funny Women  encourages women to make careers in comedybut last night’s dinner had a twist.  Ten high profile women from business, the media and academia were challenged to try stand-up comedy for the first time to raise funds for 10 charities.

I was there to support journalist Rowan Pelling  who was raising funds for Children in Crisis, and who I am delighted to say was voted the winner.

While Rowan drew on her time as editor of The Erotic Review, some of her fellow debuting stand-ups treated us to stories of being the translator for verbally-challenged teens; embracing a career in computer technology; the wonders of Twitter; and battling with other people’s misconceptions. 

My personal funny moment was winning a raffle prize of a chance to host a fashion brunch for up to 10 people with The Fold London and 50% off a dress of my choice.  Needless to say I am passing this opportunity on … I’m running a mini charity auction among my colleagues today.

Funny women will also have a stall at this weekend’s Women of the World Festival on London’s South Bank, so if you’re about, why not pop by.

The Apprentice Awards – Week Seven

Having had somewhat of an Apprentice day yesterday, running around London looking for a cloche, fresh oysters and a sourcing a rather exotic looking durian fruit, I feel it’s only apt to edit this week’s Apprentice Awards.

You should handle one of these with care

With thanks to the ever wonderful Dave Chambers, we present to you…

Miss Modesty award – Melody – “I used to be able to speak six languages, which I taught myself”. Clearly modesty and plain English weren’t two of them, Miss Woman of the Universe? Ho hum.

Shining star award- After last night’s performance, we’ve taken a real shining to Helen. She delivered one incredible sales pitch and clearly understood the target market and unlike Edna, she connected with the buyers from La Radoute (even without leather gloves).

Shining star award 2- From the ever ambitious Susie, “I want to put myself forward because product selection is my thing”. Closely followed by, “I know nothing at all about France”, you got to give her credit for almost getting there with her stream of inquisitive questions. On the plus side, Susie can say ‘Bonjour’, but that’s the only French word she knows apparently, which leads to the intriguing question of what happens when she has to say goodbye?

Novel suggestion of the week - Tom – “Guys, can you do some market research independent of your own thoughts?” Leon and Melody’s face after that utterly bizarre and frankly ridiculous request was priceless. Then again, their faces in the boardroom as Al’s pal’s Nick and Karen bollocked them for not doing market research were equally good.

Eye candy award- Slim pickings this year and while Dave was slightly obsessive over Jamie Lester’s style and good looks from the last series, this year we’re stuck with the likes of Vincent Disneur, Alex Cabral (who?) and everyone’s favourite accountant- Ed Hunter. Now with pretty-faced Leon gone, we can tell Lord Sugar means real business.

Quotes of the week

It’s very classic but quite contemporary at the same time”. Melody manages to destroy 2,000 years of art history with 10 little words.

“Do the French like their children?” I don’t know Susie, perhaps they like other people’s children instead? Is France a strange, adoption-based culture maybe? Do their children like their parents? Who knows, maybe we should phone a Frenchman and ask him.

I think they’re great products. Just not for us” says one shop owner. In other words, your weird foldy phone stand which looks suspiciously like it was constructed out of spent cotton buds is crap and my grandson could make one for 20p.

Apprentice Final Five predictions

With just weeks left of the Apprentice, we gathered some Apprentice fans around H&K towers to get a lo-down on who they think will make it into the final five. Who’s in your top five?

H&K Apprentice Final Five predictions from Hill & Knowlton UK on Vimeo.

FPS’ Friday Fiver

posted by Chris Pratt

Hello All! Welcome to another edition of the Financial and Professional Services team’s Friday Fiver. Big thanks this week to Dave Chambers, Peter Roberts, Rachel Griffiths, Matt Battersby, Helen Searle and Clare Coffey.

This week we look at the new ASA rules for corporate websites; the fairness of the ECJ ruling and its impact on insurance; the shortcomings of the FSA’s Retail Conduct Risk Outlook; Mr Murdoch’s acquisition of the remaining stake in BSkyB; the impact of the rising cost of children and what Charlie Sheen could learn from Bob Diamond.

ASA Is Watching You

On 1st March the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), the watchdog for the advertising industry assumed new powers to regulate “companies’ own marketing claims on their own websites and in other non-paid for space they control“, as the UK Code of Non-broadcast Advertising was rolled out to cover online properties. The industry reaction has been mixed and there has been a good deal of chatter online about the impact this will have for companies, but it appears that the ASA will take a fairly collaborative approach in enforcing these rules. Regardless though there are plenty of website owners and social media moderators wondering what this means for them, plenty of lawyers doing their best to interpret and not much clarity so far. Certainly there will be a few social media moderators watching what they retweet or share on their Facebook pages.

Is this good for the industry? Probably and certainly for advertisers (and their lawyers) targeting children and young people. Is this good for the internet? who knows – it’s certainly not the free and unregulated space that it was before. One would assume that the originators of the 4,500 complaints that the ASA has recorded since 2008 will be happier. Though from the perspective of a PR man that has heard many times the exasperated cry that ’the ad agency just doesn’t get what we do’ I’d be surprised if the first adjudications have anything to do with the work of a PR agency.

Looking for a cheap deal…?

Women drivers braced themselves for the full impact of equality this week with the European Court of Justice’s ruling that men and women must be treated the same by insurers when assessing risk.  According to the Association of British Insurers, women under the age of 25 could see their car insurance premiums rise by an eye-watering 25%, although men will pay slightly less than they do now.  As we all know, despite the tedious jokes, women are statistically far better drivers than men and therefore a safer bet for insurers. 

Show's Over Sheilas

But it’s not just the Sheilas who are upset.  The ruling has drawn extensive criticism from all from all quarters, from Conservative MPs to consumer groups, to the unlikely (or so you might think) ABI themselves.  Although their members might stand to gain from an overall increase in premiums paid to the industry, the potential disruption along with the marketing advantages of being able to offer competitively priced products, mean the ‘mistaken’ ruling is something they’ve been looking to avoid.

Also, the implications of the ruling are not just confined to car insurance.  Dr Ros Altman predicts that the eight out of ten annuities currently bought by men (less relevant if you are a woman and likely to live longer) are also likely to take a hit as a result of the ruling.

All in all, there appear to be very few winners from this ruling, and gender could be the thin end of the wedge. As Catherine Barton from Ernst & Young points out in the Telegraph, there are many other ‘discriminatory’ factors currently being used to measure that may come under more scrutiny.  So, the question is, when exactly does equality become unfair? 

Less risky conduct?

This week the Financial Services Authority issued its first ever Retail Conduct Risk Outlook. Previously incorporated into the FSA’s Financial Risk Outlook which accompanies its Business Plan, the separation of conduct risk from prudential risk anticipates the FSA’s separation into two new bodies in 2012.

Conscious of recent conduct failures that have had a dire impact on consumers’ experience of financial services and products – Payment Protection Insurance (PPI) mis selling, unclear mortgage terms, and bank’s complaints handling to name a few, the RCRO is an attempt to mitigate and identify potential conduct failure in the future. However, reviewing the RCRO’s list of current issues, emerging risks and potential concerns it is striking how few of them are in any way new. Indeed, most of the risks identified are covered by work already underway as part of the Mortgage Market Review and Retail Distribution Review. Therefore it will be crucial that in identifying new conduct risks, the nascent Financial Conduct Authority must have the tools and powers to do more than shine a light on potential risks and be able to intervene early to avoid market failure. Failure to do otherwise will result in history repeating, albeit under the eye of an authority with a different name.

Rupert completes his Monopoly set….

Pass Go and collect £8bn!

Yesterday’s news that Rupert Murdoch will be allowed to purchase the remaining stakein BSkyB throws up a number of issues. There were two chief complaints made by other media outlets. One, that the deal impinges on the ‘plurality’ of media outlets in the UK by giving News Corporation a far larger stake against their rivals. As Andrew Neil argued, this increases their ability to cross-sell and to subsidise their loss-making newspapers, damaging the position of their broadsheet and tabloid rivals. And two, that the purchase of Sky News (albeit in a separate company of sorts) would mean a return to the ‘bad old days’ of the 1980’s when broadcast news was controlled by just two superpowers, the BBC and ITN.

On a day’s reflection, the first of these is likely to be a far bigger problem than the second, for which there is a strong counter-argument. Regardless of the influence Mr Murdoch will have over Sky News, it still represents a third news broadcaster and in that sense the picture is actually better than the ‘bad old days’ of just two television news outlets. It’s also worth noting that the deal is far from agreed yet – as The Times notes today, investors are queuing up to extract a high price from News Corp for their shares. And one final question as well – what does this mean for the BBC? News Corp has now become an entity twice the revenue size of the Beeb. Does that mean the constant pressure on Auntie to cost cut and justify the license fee will diminish?

Not tonight darling, we really can’t afford it…

There’s been a great deal of media coverage in the past couple of weeks on how much it takes to raise a child. LV and Aviva* in particular have both had a stab, putting the figure at somewhere between £210,000 and £270,000.

Interesting that Aviva reckons this is fundamentally impacting parents’ decision on whether to have more children or not. The report found that 66 per cent of parents would put off having more children because of financial constraints.

It’s a fact backed up by ONS statistics, which show that the once typical average family size of 2.4 children, made famous in the 90s TV Show… is now in fact 1.7 children.

The gloomy picture was reinforced by recent Markit Household Finance Index showed that more than third of households are feeling worse off in the last month, backing up the financial concern that could be literally constricting families up and down the country. 

Why never fat cat actors?

Vanity Fair recently published their list of Hollywood top earners in 2010. Top of the list is James Cameron who earned $257m in 2010, mainly on the back of the phenomenal success of Avatar. Johnny Depp and Steven Spielberg were next in the list, earning $100m and $80m respectively.

These figures are so high they might make even the most hard nosed banker blush. So why were there no newspaper headlines slamming ‘greedy actors’ and ‘fat cat’ directors? Why do we accept high pay for some professions and not others? It might  be said that,  unlike bankers, actors have not harmed the world in any way but can we really say that about Jennifer Aniston who appears at number 25 in the list having made $24.5m in 2010? Anyone who believes that obviously hasn’t seen her new rom-com ‘classic’, ‘Just go with it’!

One actor’s pay has been making the headlines this week though as Charlie Sheen continued to self-destruct on US TV. Amongst the many revelations from these interviews came Sheen’s demand that his pay for appearing on ‘Two and a Half Men’ be increased to $3m per episode. This has caused some criticism in an America where many are still feeling the effects of the recent recession.

So could Charlie Sheen’s behaviour lead to more questioning of actors salaries and their benefit to society? If so, then perhaps they should look to Bob Diamond’s expert performance at the Treasury Select Committee in January for guidance on how to manage this scrutiny. Comparing some of his comments to those of Charlie Sheen this week, they could certainly do a lot worse!

Bob Diamond on banks apologising for the crisis:

“There was a period of remorse and apology for banks, that period needs to be over. We need banks to be able to take risk, working with the private sector in the UK.”

Charlie Sheen on not apologising for anything:

“I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending like I’m not bitchin’, a total freakin’ rock star from Mars.”

Bob Diamond on the perceived invincibility of banks:

“Banks should be allowed to fail…It’s not okay for taxpayers to have to bail out banks.”

Charlie Sheen on the perceived invincibility of Charlie Sheen:

“Dying is for fools, amateurs.”

Bob Diamond on bonuses:

“I would like to be able to isolate bonuses. I am a businessman trying to run a business. I have to balance what our owners want, what our customers want… I am aware of the emotion around bonuses and we will show as much restraint as we can…we are responsible citizens of the world and the United Kingdom.”

Charlie Sheen on pay:

“Blame the studio for giving me this much dough knowing who they were giving it to.”

More from Bob Diamond on bonuses:

“We have to balance the responsibility we have and the recognition of the environment we operate in”

More from Charlie Sheen on… well….. we’re not really sure

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

*Some great research from our client Aviva, but in the interests of transparency we should state that this is not our work

FPS’ Friday Fiver

Hello All! Welcome to another edition of the Financial and Professional Services team’s Friday Fiver. Big thanks this week to Linzi Goldthorpe, Karen Butcher, Chris Pratt and Jonathan Henderson.

Joanna gears up again…Monday saw the Bar Council and Law Society launch their campaign against government cuts to legal aid. The lobbyist group Sound off for Justice, which is championed by actress and rights activist Joanna Lumley, aims to put pressure on the government to reconsider the cuts which were unveiled in November of last year.

Guess who's back for round two?

Currently the UK provides free legal advice for those people fighting civil cases that don’t have sufficient funds to cover legal costs. The Ministry of Justice plans to cut the £2.1bn legal aid bill by £350m within four years, reducing the number of people of people able to seek help by up to 500,000.

So far the propositions have been dubbed ‘brutal’ and ‘devasting’ by the legal community who are calling for the plans to be scrapped. Enter Joanna to weave her magic again…

Bribery is still bribery…Some of us attended the British American Business’s Law Forum UK Bribery Act event this week. Given the new date for the guidelines on the Act are yet to be confirmed the seminar focussed on what businesses need to  be thinking about before implementation comes into force.

The focus was very much on laying minds at rest following the confusion around the Act’s implementation. Two messages were clearly played out through the seminar:

1. Facilitation payments always have and always will be a crime. The Bribery Act isn’t changing that.

Care is still needed when choosing a hotel for business guests

2. The reaction to the Act’s hospitality element has been blown well out of proportion. Sensible and proportionate expenditure remains lawful but flying a potential new business partner halfway around the world with their family and putting them in a deluxe hotel is not.

Confusion remains on events such as the Olympics though – the clock is ticking on this one, so watch this space.

Confused about petrol…This week we received an email from price comparison site confused.com about their partnership with The Sun for their new ‘Do Your Duty’ campaign. It seems to have won a lot of support from readers of the paper and has been well shared on Confused.com’s website. This week’s inflation figures can only have heightened support for it as well.

The campaign looks like a no-brainer for Confused.com then doesn’t it? We do wonder though if it doesn’t look somewhat self-serving for organisations if they choose an issue that isn’t well-aligned with their business. We’ve been running a successful campaign for Hymans Robertson on pension reform recently. But then being pension consultants they can lead that debate and offer well-respected opinions – the risk of falling short in the credibility stakes is low.

Well done to confused.com for showing the nerve to embrace an issue though. Not all organisations are willing to do so, but we hope they build on this position and develop their credentials as an organisation that represents consumers interests in keeping prices low, including insurance prices.

Goodbye Western investment returns…Barely a day goes past without reports of the fundamental shift in global wealth and productivity from the developed to the developing world.

This week the London Business School weighed in. Their new report indicated that the equity risk premium (the additional return generated by investing rather than taking a risk-free option such as cash) is set to fall in developed markets. They believe that investors can expect a future return of around 3 to 3.5% from equities in the developed world, the lowest rate in 110 years, down on the historic average of 4.5%.

The report comes as Barclays Capital predicted foreign investors can however expect annual returns of 10.5% from developing economies. The findings are likely to have significant repercussions for where western pension funds invest their money as younger generations search for returns further afield than the western blue chips that have traditionally been a staple of pension portfolios.

Money Saving ‘Expert’…Martin Lewis and his website have been a big success in recent years, by offering a new approach to personal finance. Lewis has binned the jargon and offers simple rules of thumb on saving and investing. Now however, there are questions being asked about his credentials following a slip-up on ITV’s Daybreak show this week.

An expert yes, but a qualified one?

The whole issue of financial advice is under the spotlight at the moment thanks to something called the ‘Retail Distribution Review’. This proposes to change the way financial advisers earn their keep – from taking commission on selling products, to billing clients (people like us) for their time. As the ever excellent Anthony Hilton pointed out recently though, this could put advisers out of the financial reach of most people.

That means the majority will have to turn to Mr Lewis and others like him for their money advice. The first test on the horizon in this brave new world? Explaining to 7m workers why their pay checks are suddenly 4% lighter following the start of auto-enrolment in 2012. Good luck guys…

The Apprentice Awards – the Final Week

So that’s it. After twelve weeks, 16 candidates, numerous acts of shoddy professionalism and more Stuart Baggs than you could throw a field of ponies at, The Apprentice is over for another year.

Apologies for the lack of entry on last week’s superb interview episode, but as you might have seen elsewhere the back end of last week was rather eventful.

Pink Pomegranate, White Rum, and Spices. Soon to ruin a perfectly good mojito near you (if you're lucky)

To make up for that omission, this week’s final post combines thoughts on the interviews, the final and the series as a whole. So here we go:

The end of the legend – we’d all prayed for it, we’d all begged for it, and in the end it really was worth waiting for. Stuart Baggs’ exit was brilliant for the simple fact that Lord Sugar crushed him with one devastating line – “Stuart, you’re full of sh*t”. His subsequent tweeting hasn’t failed to amuse either Read the rest of this entry »

#HKLift

Last Thursday, three very important things happened at H&K:

1. Our CEO, Richard Millar, outlined his vision for 2011 (I’ll let him write that one up)

2. We had our annual Xcellence Awards and Christmas party (many congrats to all the winners, especially our rising star and resident digital heavyweight, Joey Ng)

3. Ten H&K’ers got stuck in one of the lifts halfway between the basement and the ground floor for 35 minutes

The #HK10

Read the rest of this entry »

The Apprentice Awards – Week Ten

If you weren’t already aware that the Thames is apparently “London’s second biggest river”, or that “the face of Big Ben is 20 diameters in width”, or indeed that visitors flock to Westminster Abbey “because it’s a church”, then I’m glad Jamie was able to teach you all these vitally important (and in no way complete bo**ocks) facts on this week’s Apprentice.

Sadly what I learnt this week was that it’s possible for an arrogant, useless, immature, cocky little wretch to somehow squeeze his way through into the final five in place of an actually quite good candidate. I won’t lie to you, when Lord Sugar pointed his digit of doom at Liz a little bit of me died inside. While we wait yet another week for the eventual demise of Stuart Baggs (please dear God) here are the awards for week ten:

The Gherkin, called 'The Gherkin' because it looks "like a Gherkin". If you'd like a tour full of such insights, contact Jamie Lester and hand over just £35

How do you find a cockney in London? – hmm, I’m no expert but I’m guessing probably not by putting on a fake accent and parading into the east end, clipboard in hand. Hint to Liz – not all east Londoners are Cockneys. Especially not in Shoreditch.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Apprentice Awards – Week Nine

Hmm, this day late thing seems to becoming a trend sadly. Fear not though, because with just three weeks to go the Apprentice Awards are 110% committed to reporting on what remains of Britain’s least reality-television TV show (which is still actually very much a reality TV show – how else could Stuart Baggs possibly still be on it?).

"How good are we if even when we're sh*t we still win?" Hopefully Professor Hawking is hard at work on Stuart Baggs' question as we speak

This week, finally, wonderfully, mercifully, we said goodbye to Laura, her big mouth and small amount of talent. The aforementioned Baggs will no doubt mourn her passing somewhat, but with Laura gone we really are down to the cream of the crop. Well, at least we are on the girl’s side – the boys continue to be an utterly useless pile of yellow snow. Anyway, here are the Awards:

And the best Oscar goes to – for some reason Ridley Scott seemed to have jumped behind the camera this week. Not only were we treated to some overly dramatic music at various intervals, but we also got a large dose of architectural porn as the candidates travelled to the City of London to be briefed. Shame the winner ends up working in a crap retail park in Essex really.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Apprentice Awards – Week Eight

Like Stuart Baggs arriving in front of Lord Sugar in his jimmyjams, this week’s write-up is ashamedly and apologetically late – the world of PR waits for no-one it seems. On the plus side, we’re eight weeks in and edging ever closer to the bit we’re all really waiting for – the cringe-inducing, Sergeant Major style interviews when we’re down to the final five.

Britain's brightest business prospects. Otherwise known as the 'arrogant cock' one and the 'petulant moany' one

This week we mourned the loss of the averagely capable but wonderfully entertaining Christopher, a man well and truly stuck in the 1970s thanks to his delightful views on TV advertising and the Germans (more on that gem later). But we’re running late, so let’s kick off with the awards straight away:

The ‘Where have my balls gone’ award – there’s only one word to describe Laura really. Actually, no there’s not. You could choose from several, including spineless, downright annoying, immature, whingy, petulant…oh the list goes on. This week though she took a leaf out of the classic Apprentice playbook by telling PM Stella in no uncertain terms to “choose the crisp flavours, don’t take my call, you’re the PM”. A job as Stuart Baggs’ Yes Man surely beckons after she’s booted off next week (well we can hope can’t we?!).

Marketing bo***cks of the week – Germany must be a seriously underdeveloped country when it comes to the food sector. I lost count of the number of times we heard the phrase “we’ve identified a gap in the market”. And what were these gaps exactly? Erm, German-flavoured crisps and classic British treats. If they really are gaps then I’m on the next flight to Hamburg armed with a suitcase full of Walkers Sensations.

Outfit of the week - oh how the Masters of the Universe have fallen

Bring back the women! – it has to be said, this week’s boardroom showdown was wetter than a Scout camp in Wales. It was all so polite, so uninterrupted, so above board and humble. There’s no doubt about it, the women on the series definitely spice up the final three KO.

Contender of the week – at the start of the series you’d have got exceptional odds on Joanna surviving more than three weeks, yet she’s about to land top of the pile. This week was particularly impressive, turning a hesitant three month order for British crisps into a bumper six month ticket and ruining the hopes of the other team in the process. The new favourite for me.

And the contrast is painfuloh Jamie, where did it all go wrong? Not only are you devastatingly handsome, but you used to be so very good. Come back man, please come back!

It’s that knife again – as per last week (and x number of weeks before), Chris waited for the perfect moment before sticking his blade in again. This week it was on soon-to-be-fired Christopher and his failure to inform his PM that a key meeting had been shifted later in the day. “This is news to me Lord Sugar”. Simple, devastating, brilliant.

Not even Great Uncle Bulgaria could save the contestants from themselves this week

Baggs the schoolboy – yet again he had so many memorable lines, including that disturbing one about owning a “white sausage”. Best of all though was his familiarity with the German people and their language on account of StuBaggs’ numerous trips to the Rhineland, no doubt as a pimpled teenager on one of those insufferable exchange programmes. Arch-nemesis Stella then reinforced this (admittedly crude) stereotype by delightfully telling him to “tuck your shirt in” as he tried on his winner’s clothes. Oh how their huge, apocalyptic, Hollywood argument beckons ever closer.

Quote of the week – only one winner here and that’s Christopher. Not simply for his wonderfully honest declaration that “I hate the Germans”, but more for the way in which he rephrased it in front of Lord Sugar in the boardroom: “I don’t even like going to Germany all that much”. Christopher, you may have been fired but you could score a job in PR anytime mate.

The Apprentice Awards – Week Seven

If you’re reading this then congratulations – you’ve obviously finished pouring through the 16 page supplements in yesterday’s Mail and Telegraph commemorating the star-crossed university lovers.

Week Seven of the Apprentice saw the return of what I lovingly call the ‘tacky souvenir challenge’. This year’s version really stretched the word ‘merchandise’ to the limit though, with the contestant’s flogging ‘blue screen experiences’. The magnetism that human beings seem to feel when it comes to latching onto useless crap really knows no bounds does it?

Anyway, this week’s awards reflect what this episode was really all about – showcasing just how much of an utter tool Stuart TheBrand really is:

Possibly the biggest idiot in Britain today, but compelling viewing all the same

Read the rest of this entry »