HASTY EDIT – I published this and then realised that this was the 18th Web Curios. Web Curios is now of legal drinking age; should any of you fancy buying Web Curios a bottle of whisky (or meths of suitable vintage), please feel free. Thanks.
Another week down, another 7 days spent at work feeling like Sisyphus (if you’d prefer a visual representation of this, you can’t go wrong by clicking here). Yet again, it might be argued that I shouldn’t be writing this and should instead be knuckling down to some HARD GRAFT (for which phrase Google Images suggests this – proof positive that people who spend time on the internet have NO CONCEPT of what work actually means); those who hold that opinion, though, are ignoring the JOY that Web Curios brings to literally tens of webmongs across Soho. I am performing a public service, big bossman Richard Miller. Frankly I should be subsidised by the state – after all, there’s some extra cash knocking about these days.
Having said that, this is going to be the last Web Curios for a while as next Thursday I am going on HOLIDAY. Yes, I know that I have tried that before this year and failed spectacularly, but this time nothing can go wrong. I’m only going to Italy, for God’s sake *prays, fervently*. Before I embark upon my Roman holiday, though, have some things – oh, and for those of a sensitive disposition, please be assured that nothing in this week’s selection comes anywhere near to the creepiness of last week’s stuff. Which is a shame, frankly (there was a video of a Satanic mass, but I’m not quite sure how far I can test my employers’ patience at the moment). Enjoy, or don’t, but whatever you do DON’T HAVE NIGHTMARES.
Unless you’ve been buried under a rock for the past month (and even if you have), you will have seen or heard the very good spoof of Jay-Z’s ‘Empire State of Mind’ put together by the very talented MJ Delaney. In case this means nothing to you, you can see it below:
With 2,473,414 views on YouTube AT THIS EXACT SECOND, it’s done quite well. It just so happens that they brains behind it happen to be friend with a colleague of mine, and so they very kindly agreed to answer a few questions about the CRAZY INTERNET WHIRLWIND which they’ve been engulfed in. Read on:
1) How long did it take you to write and record ‘Newport’?
MJ and I came up with the idea back in May as we were singing along to the Jay Z version and it just made us laugh to replace New York with Newport. MJ is a young filmmaker trying to build up her showreel so she decided to make it into a video and was the driving force behind the project. It took us about 3 evenings over the course of 2 weeks to write, during which MJ also started casting for the Jay Z and Alicia’s roles. We found Terema through a casting website but weren’t able to find a Jay Z we were happy with (there doesn’t seem to be a wealth of talented Welsh rappers in London!), so we managed to convince our actor friend Al to take on the part. We recorded it in one day at our friend’s studio (not nearly as glamorous as that sounds – we were in a cramped basement room and at one point the light bulb hanging from the ceiling exploded above our heads). Simon Bloor is a very talented sound engineer who mixed and layered it for us that evening. Then in June we made the trip to Newport on a Sunday and filmed it all in one day. MJ then spent about 2 weeks on and off editing it and she put it up on Youtube on 21st July.
2) Did you have an active plan to get it to go ‘viral’? (sorry, I hate that term too)
We never actually sat down and discussed how to seed the video but I think you have to have confidence that if your friends and colleagues like it, then they will pass it on and it will grow organically. You can’t force people to talk about something or share links on social networking sites [MY BOLDING AND ITALICS, BECAUSE IT'S TRUE], which is why Twitter and YouTube are such great meritocratic platforms to showcase work. Our aim when we first set out was 10,000 views so we never expected the kind of response that followed.
3) If so, where did you ‘seed’ the video?
We sent it to friends and colleagues and it just took on a life of itself from there. I also sent it to Newport City Council but I never got a reply…
4) If not, at what point did you see interest really taking off? What was / were the catalyst(s) for it going EVERYWHERE?
Once it was tweeted by celebrities there was a massive surge in the number of hits we received. People like Example, Lily Allen, Caitlin Moran and Stephen Fry command such a presence on Twitter that when they shared it with their followers it soon caught the attention of the mainstream media.
5) What’s the best piece of feedback you’ve received?
My personal favourite was when Alistair Stewart clapped and called it “genius” on ITV News at 10. That was pretty surreal.
6) Have the offers of work come flooding in, and if so what’s been the best?
Al and Terema have had lots of offers to play the song live at various events. Otherwise there are some ongoing negotiations but nothing concrete yet. We’d certainly like to collaborate again as we had so much fun making it.
7) Why do you think ‘Newport’ has taken off in this way (aside from the fact that it’s, y’know, good)?
It was something that the people of Newport and Wales enjoyed and were proud of, which helped a lot. On another level, I think it resonated with the British sense of humour and how we try not to take things too seriously.
8) Can I be in your next video?
I’ll put in a good word with MJ! [THAT'S A NO, THEN]
As a bonus, check out the markedly less funny response by ‘real’ Welsh ‘comedy’ rap outfit Goldie Lookin’ Chain:
I was sick last week. Not actually physically sick (not in the Exorcist way, at least), but certainly ill. It sucked (another word that I’ve just discovered should not be combined with a Google search with the safe settings turned off), and was also a real shame as there were some properinternetgems which I was ITCHING to write about for your pleasure. I didn’t, though – instead I sat on the couch and felt sorry for myself and played Limbo, which is brilliant.
This probably doesn’t need to be reiterated, but Toy Story 3 is also brilliant. In the unlikely event that anyone from the American Department of Homeland Security is reading this (and given that this is now the second time I’ve linked to that website, there’s every possibility that they are WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE), then here’s a tip; leave off using music to break prisoners at Guantanamo, and instead commission Pixar to create a tearjerking animated short designed to persuade those pesky terrormongers of the error of their ways. You can have that for free.
There’s a whole raft of stuff to get through this week, some of it even quite good, so I’m not going to bother writing any more of this bit as I know noone really reads it anyway.
I awoke this morning feeling wonderful – the weather was a bit pony, admittedly, but it was FRIDAY and I had 2 days of pseudo-freedom to look forward to before reapplying the shackles of gainful employment. Things were looking good, webmongs…and then I had an 8:30am conference call which pretty much screwed my day entirely. It’s hard to explain its effect without resorting to cheap hyperbole, so I shan’t try; suffice it to say that it was the psychological equivalent of making a series of small but well-placed papercuts between each of my toes and then taking a saline foot-bath; of flaying the skin from my bones and then rolling across the great Salt Lake Desert.
But! It’s not just about me (it is, actually, but let’s pretend). What’s been going on in the world since we last spoke? Oh, loads of stuff. Old Spice did THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET EVER – or at least that’s what a bunch of generic media idiots think; real people, on the other hand, remained utterly oblivious to the fact that a man with his shirt off was massaging the egos of a host of people on Twitter. They also remained reluctant to purchase the frankly horrifyingly-scented product in question (though a note to all the PR/marketing gurus/ninjas/mavens (*vomits*) who are running around shouting FAIL! – let’s look at figures in a year’s time and then judge the campaign, eh? And frankly I’m sure that the fine folk at W&K will be crying into their vintage Veuve at Cannes this time next year when they’re hoovering cocaine from the tanned midriff s of teenage models whilst clutching multiple Lions of varying hues).
The increasingly irregular Web Curios returns after a week’s absence – in the unlikely event any of you are upset at the sporadic nature of these posts, feel free to contact Hill & Knowlton and tell them to stop giving me so much real work to do. Alternatively, why not donate to the “Let’s Ensure Matt Never Has To Work Again” fund? Every penny counts, kids!
But! There is more to the world than football, hard as it may be to believe. There is a gun-toting killer on the loose, we are in the middle of a TROPICAL HEATWAVE – it’s like the Summer of Sam (it’s not like the Summer of Sam). There’s been loads of stuff on the internet, too, which is convenient as otherwise I’d have to pad out the rest of this blog with my inane witterings – thanks, internet!
I was away. Now I am back. Try and contain your joy (I know it’s hard, but for Christ’s sakes show some backbone, will you?).
So when we last spoke I was about to go on holiday here – unfortunately, I ended up somewhere that looks a lot more like here. It all went to tits, webmongs, and frankly it’s still a bit raw and painful. Suffice it to say that I will not be buying the US Department of Homeland Security a Christmas card this year.
Oh, who am I trying to kid? I totally failed to go on holiday and spent a week slumped in front of the (really, really mediocre) football, dulling my frontal lobes with drink and drugs in an attempt to numb the pain as big salty tears trickled down my cheeks. England could well jam their way to winning the World Cup, forcing me to emigrate. The weather may be nice, but I’m a wageslave officemonkey who’s chained to his desk for hours at a time so I can’t enjoy it. And I’m obviously not at Glastonbury. Modern Life Is Rubbish, and so is the blog this week. Suck it up.
LOOK AT THE WEATHER! IT’S AMAZING! For the three of you who read this who aren’t in London, feel free to look at your own weather and marvel; everyone else, grab a Cornetto (or other iced treat of your choice – Web Curios does not represent any ice cream manufacturers as yet, but is happy to enter into sponsorship negotiations with anyone who’s interested. Haagen Dazs, for preference) and settle in for this week’s roundup of good stuff made by people far more talented than me (and in all probablity you too – stop looking smug).
It’s been a bit of a truncated week, this one, what with the Bank Holiday and then being in Geneva all day Tuesday (they’re still advertising this watch at the airport, by the way – who in the name of Christ actually buys this crap?), so this Web Curios is going to be pretty light on anything related to my actual job. Like you care. Frankly I couldn’t really care less either – I’m going on holiday next week (to New York, seeing as none of you asked – anyone with tips of anything to see or do feel free to tweet them to me or leave them in the comments below), and am basically just killing time and pretending to look busy til then (NOTE TO MY PAYMASTERS – THIS IS OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUE, I AM DISPLAYING MY USUAL STAKHANOVITE DEDICATION). Which means that Web Curios will be absent for a week or so. Deal with it, and enjoy this week’s fix.
Webmongs! In a show of MASSIVE DEFIANCE I am today saying XXXX XXX (use your nous and creativity to establish exactly which expletive I am masking behind those cunning Xs) to my workload and instead channeling all my energies into bringing you some stuff off the web. You hear that, The Man? YOU HEAR THAT???? Eh? Oh.
Strangely enough, The Man’s ambivalence to my defiance is pretty analogue to my feelings about the new toy for grown-ups which has been launched today (as an aside, may I just quote the ever-wonderful Saul Williams here and reference the conspiracy-theorists’ anti-Apple belief…”no one seems to recognize the symbols come to life / The bitten apple on the screen, and Jesus had a wife…”…JUST SAYING, is all) – for a full, unexpurgated viewpoint click here (WARNING – BAD WORDS).
For those of you, though, who are fully intending to line Steve Jobs’ pockets even further and sit about stroking your new i-pets to the appreciative breathy moans of your i-onanist colleagues, can I suggest that you all get the Scrabble app, which is the best thing I’ve yet seen on the iPad. Apart, actually, from a demo of the Telegraph’s forthcoming app, which looks very shiny indeed (it won’t actually make reading the news any better, but it will make it prettier – and that’s what counts, eh? I despair, I really do).
Anyway, enough bitter misanthropy. Or maybe not; we’ll see how we go.
Hey! Look! I’m back. It’s been a long time, webmongs, and I’ve missed you. You especially (but you less so). In last week’s sadly abandoned draft of webcurios (IT screwups and vile, filthy work intervened) I spent a few lines wittering on about how we were now – let’s travel back in time 7 days and see EXACTLY what I was thinking….
*insert wavy flashback lines here*
Everything is blue. Apart from those bits that are yellow. Yes, webmongs, we (well, those of us living in Dave’s Britain – it’s his country, now, and we should be grateful that he’s letting us stay in it. For the moment. Until all the background checks are complete) are having to come to terms with a society in which things are STRANGE and DIFFERENT, and where this image is now permanently burnt onto my retinas:
Just imagine their wedding night. IMAGINE.
*repeat wavy flashback lines as we return to the present*
Wow, I feel like Sam Beckett. No, not that one. This one. He’s loads better (parenthetically, how much would I like Sam to come along and take over my life for a few days right now? OH BOY).
Anyway, a week is a short time in politics, and, frankly, The Cleggeron is passe – ALL HAIL OUR ONE-EYED OLYMPIAN OVERLORDS:
On reflection, Wenlock appears to be excreting rainbows in this image
Now, in the interests of full disclosure I need to point out that my lovable employers are one of the agencies contracted by 2012. Having said that, we had nothing to do with the mascots, so I feel fairly able to speak frankly on them. I think they’re brilliant, in part due to their uncanny resemblance to this long-forgotten purple despot from videogames past:
Webmongs! Hello! Look! It’s a brand new political dawn in which the strong are just, the weak secure and the peace preserved – oh, no, actually it’s a hung parliament, a few days of uncertainty and the horrible, ugly prospect of having to go through this bloody circus all over again before the year’s out. You don’t need me for analysis of the situation (for which let’s be thankful; if you did need me for this, it would be a poor lookout for the country as a whole) – get it here instead. If you’re feeling depressed about the outcome, though, why not console yourself by spilling your guts to a bunch of random strangers on the internet? I’m going to leave the last word (for now, at least) on our much vaunted ‘digital election’ to the fine folk from B3ta – the web didn’t change the course of the election or the outcome of the vote (really, it didn’t – IT WAS THE TELLY WOT HUNG IT), but it made me laugh lots. So that’s ok then (warning – audio track contains swears) :
Right, enough of the important stuff. Let’s get back to the frivolous internet rubbish.
