Hill+Knowlton Strategies

Sunday is my day to catch up on the cornucopia of blogs from @HK_London. Especially as this week we have a new #WebCurios from Matt. Duncan also mentions the World Cup bid, specifically the media power of Twitter, while Dave keeps us up to date with the ninth edition of his Apprentice Awards.

Meanwhile, Annouchka and the Andrex puppy celebrate “The Little Things” — an ode to CGI cute.

We are a nation in mourning. We have been denied our RIGHT by the cheating foreigners. Or, as the more level-headed amongst us migh be thinking, we’ve been spared seven years of small-island jingoism and casual racism, dredging up the ashes of empire in unseemly and ugly fashion. Whichever side of that particular fence you fall on (clue: if it’s the wrong side, sling your hook; we don’t need your sort ’round here), the fact remains that football’s not coming home; it’s going to hang out with Roman and the oil barons instead. Don’t worry, though; they’re both fantastic countries with unimpeachable records on human rights! Eh? Oh.

Leaving aside frivolous sporting matters for a moment, it has once again been a BIG WEEK. Everyone’s favourite agent provocateur Julian Assange has been disclosing secrets left right and centre – and noone can complain, because it’s ‘in the public interest’! (this is my new favourite statement, largely because ‘the public’ is such a large, amorphous entity that almost anything can be considered to be, to some degree, in its interest. Basically meaning that anything is, to an extent, permissable. Thanks, Julian, for ushering in a new era of libertarianism). Top Tip for 2011, though – get Julian on your Dead Pool, quick smart.

Elsewhere, the festive season is upon us and so are the advertising campaigns – this video, for example, by La Senza (and I challenge any man reading this to watch that and not feel a bit…well…grubby. I promise; it’s impossible). Web Curios would, however, like to suggest that maybe this year, given how utterly banjaxed everything is, you potentially consider a different approach and perhaps use your monies differently. Or, you know, go ahead and buy that scented candle set that we both know will stay in its packaging in the guest bedroom for evermore. Your call. Of course, if you want to buy me a present then feel free.

(sometimes I think I’m in the wrong industry, you know).

Anyway, enough of this. OTHER STUFF has been happening – INTERNET STUFF (seamless segue, I think you’ll agree). But before we turn our attention to INTERNET STUFF, a picture!

It's Christmas Party Season!!!!

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Here’s what we blogged about this week at H&K London:
The PR Week conference (#PRWgrowth) was covered and tweeted by Annouchka Behrmann. I highly recommend Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsieh of Zappos.com. Have you read it yet?

Dave posted the 8th edition of his The Apprentice Awards. Duncan asks ‘Do playboys make good role models or more importantly good brand ambassadors?‘. The Ofgem investigation into the domestic energy market is discussed by Ben Wood. And Chris Pratt blogs about The Power and the Glory, The Effect of Foreign Ownership on British Manufacturers Image, plus the DECC Inquiry on Shale Gas.

So this was the week that the UK decided to go ‘a bit French‘. Not in terms of Gallic chic (for which this is the first Google images result, proving that a) the Daily Mail are really good at SEO and that b) they are idiots in most other respects), but in terms of popular protest (NB – Web Curios in no way condones the dropping of fire extinguishers onto the forces of law and order). Far be it from me to opine on the rights and wrongs of the student demonstrations – other than to say that VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER, KIDS – but to those who are drawing parallels between this week’s demonstrations and the poll tax riots of the late 80s: well, you’re wrong. It wasn’t riots that got the poll tax abolished, you idiots; it was the fact that everyone refused to pay it and, much as she would have liked, Maggie couldn’t put everyone in jail. These student protests (and I’m willing to bet on this, should anyone fancy a wager) will change about as much as the demonstrations against military action in Afghanistan and Iraq. Sorry kids, but it’s true.

[An aside: someone I know was once punched in the face by their dad for daring to suggest that the French had the right idea when it came to protesting about stuff. Now that's a family dispute]

What else? Oh, yes, the British judiciary demonstrated that the law is an ass yet again yesterday, as Paul Chambers’ lost his appeal agaist conviction for telling a joke on Twitter. Take a moment to consider that, webmongs – you can say something to someone in jest, and now be liable for it. It’s just mental, frankly. There’s no way in hell that this won’t eventually get overturned – it’s just a question of the law needing to catch up with the world – but it’s a bit of a scary thought nonetheless. Let’s all go and bomb an airport in protest (NB – Web Curios in no way condones or encourages terrorist activity against airports or indeed any other locations. Except, perhaps, Swindon).

Sorry, that was all rather worthy, wasn’t it? Erm. Let’s take a moment before delving into the past week’s webthings to relax, purge our minds of all this SERIOUS STUFF, and contemplate the best news I’ve heard in ages – i.e. that Pulp are reforming. Go and read this essay dissecting Common People, and come back when you’re done. Or, er, don’t. Sorry, that was very bossy of me.

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The problem with leaving two weeks between Web Curios, webmongs, is that I completely forget what’s happened in the world since the last one, leaving me rather shy of material for the (admittedly second-rate) opening paragraphs. I know, for example, that this week’s been particularly good for The Man (you don’t want to know why I am so aware of that, trust me), that a very rich, very stupid man was going to leave his job and then decided not to and that this inexplicably dominated the news agenda for 72 hours, that we are effectively going to have a really, really unpleasant decade (it’s true – even The Man Who Knows Gordon Best said so), and that Mexico is probably the most frightening country on earth right now (don’t click on those words unless you have a strong stomach – some very, very graphic photojournalism that way lies). Oh, and the entire nation appears to be gripped, once again, by a second-rate karaoke show and what appears to be a showcase of the very worst human beings on the planet (in fairness, though, my esteemed colleague Dave is doing a rather nice episode-by-episode blog of that).

[A brief aside - can someone explain to me, please, what the appeal of the X-Factor is? I am genuinely baffled as to why millions of people seem to find entertainment in watching music that was mediocre to start with being sung appreciably less well by people with less talent than the original artists, many of whom have fairly obvious and somewhat troubling personality disorders, on a set that looks as though it was designed by the same people who designed the wrappers for Quality Street chocolates, presided over by a group of people who, as a result of consistent public attention and adulation, are now of the mistaken belief that what they do matters and should be the subject of public debate, all in order to basically inflate the already gargantuan income of a man who's almost singlehandedly responsible for everything that is wrong with the last decade of this country's musical output? (I wonder if he and The Man are friends?) WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL ARE YOU ALL IDIOTS WHY CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT I AM RIGHT AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. Feel free to respond in the comments if you have any arguments that might persuade me that the IQ of the majority of the UK population is in double rather than treble figures, and that that is borne out by the its televisual habits]

*Ahem*

Of course, though, that all pales into insignificance compared to stuff that people have done on the internet. Here is some of it.

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It’s been said before, Webmongs, but work really is like being at school. I turned up to the daily grind on Wednesday having run out of hairwax (regular readers will recall Web Curios’ previous unsuccessful attempts to solicit brand gifts of icecream, whisky and meths – in case anyone from Toni & Guy is reading this, I favour Label M products, fyi), and as a result looking more like this than my usual Shockheaded Peter ’style’. Anyone would think that I had turned up casually wearing the carcass of a recently butchered child as an overcoat, such was the horror that greeted me; so much so that my adorable colleagues in the CPG team felt compelled to force some hair product on me and make me wear it. Thanks, girls: way to boost a social inadequate’s self esteem!

Obviously this INCREDIBLE STORY pales into insignificance before the (real, no cynicism) incredible tale of those blokes in the mine. You can read about it elsewhere, and doubtless you already have, but my favourite thing about the remarkable tale (aside from the number of conversations I’ve had where people have speculated as to how friendly they will have become with each other during those long, lonely hours in the dark – there really is no link I can put in there that won’t offend someone, sadly) was the joyful email we here at H&K towers received from a Chilean colleague, which finished with the beautiful, sweary exclamation of joy “VAMOS CHILE MIERDA!!”. You’ve got to love a country where the accepted exclamation of national pride contains a swear.

What else? Oh, there was another ’social media crisis’, which is funny as THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A SOCIAL MEDIA CRISIS. I went to Bahrain, which is a very weird place – not least this very swanky Japanese restaurant which looks like that place in Kill Bill where Uma Thurman neatly eviscerates 100 or so people, despite being IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT. Strange, strange place. I also discovered that Absolut are now selling vodka in a gold bottle, called ‘Absolut Bling Bling’ – well done, Western world, that’s a whole new nadir of taste! Pat yourselves on the back – you awful, pathetic creatures.

Ahem. Anyway, links.

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Update: The people have been heard. Gap returns to old logo

What’s a brand to do when a parody is more creative than the real thing? I can’t help but feel sorry for the PR people at Gap Towers this week. The scurrying is palatable even 6000 miles away. Thrown into a mess they probably had no hand in creating. Forced to watch on the fancy online buzz monitors as this User Generated Critique of their silly logo redesign bounces to mainstream media.

Do you ignore? Embrace ‘the conversation’? Respond? Crowd source! Oh noz. Has nobody noticed it is the professional design community who are the loudest logo haters? Hey, maybe the whole thing was a stunt?? Did someone in marketing demand ‘a viral‘???

Well this certainly showed the dark side of user generated content spreading in record Internet time. And it is this cyber speed that captivates me. As well as the quality of the snark.

Like @BPGlobalPR before it, the secret to the success of @GapLogo is creativity. Witty, informed, in touch with the times. Clever, fresh, fun. Add your own adjective below. Alas, the logo itself is none of these. Perhaps inspirational — if inspiring ridicule was a KPI.

Make Your Own Gap Logo by @jamesjyu is a LOL piece of code. Gapify by @joeippolito plays the joke a different way. But the mashup below is my favorite. (I’d feel sorry for the Apple PRs too, except they are miles above caring — bless them.)

Can a company Parody Proof their brand? I wish they could for my clients’ sake. But I doubt it.

ps: Lots of logos here for next time

This month, the cyberworld of interactive professionals splits into two camps. Those with a submission to SXSW, and those without. Because the good folks at SXSW know that nothing builds August buzz around a March conference more than blogger to blogger voting, they build in the need for potential speakers to promote their own panel idea. So we tweet, bleat, blog and beg.

Sure, other people are super bored with these pleas for votes. Whatevers. With 2395 panels to choose from, it is almost impossible to find a great topic without a direct link. Less than 20% will be chosen and user votes count for 30% of the decision.

Do you have a submission? Let me know. And please share any other panels you think are awesome. In my native land, committed people of all political persuasions know that a compelling platform can’t win without a huge get out the vote (GOTV) push. Annoying? Maybe. Effective? I hope so..!

HASTY EDIT – I published this and then realised that this was the 18th Web Curios. Web Curios is now of legal drinking age; should any of you fancy buying Web Curios a bottle of whisky (or meths of suitable vintage), please feel free. Thanks.

Another week down, another 7 days spent at work feeling like Sisyphus (if you’d prefer a visual representation of this, you can’t go wrong by clicking here). Yet again, it might be argued that I shouldn’t be writing this and should instead be knuckling down to some HARD GRAFT (for which phrase Google Images suggests this – proof positive that people who spend time on the internet have NO CONCEPT of what work actually means); those who hold that opinion, though, are ignoring the JOY that Web Curios brings to literally tens of webmongs across Soho. I am performing a public service, big bossman Richard Miller. Frankly I should be subsidised by the state – after all, there’s some extra cash knocking about these days.

Having said that, this is going to be the last Web Curios for a while as next Thursday I am going on HOLIDAY. Yes, I know that I have tried that before this year and failed spectacularly, but this time nothing can go wrong. I’m only going to Italy, for God’s sake *prays, fervently*. Before I embark upon my Roman holiday, though, have some things – oh, and for those of a sensitive disposition, please be assured that nothing in this week’s selection comes anywhere near to the creepiness of last week’s stuff. Which is a shame, frankly (there was a video of a Satanic mass, but I’m not quite sure how far I can test my employers’ patience at the moment). Enjoy, or don’t, but whatever you do DON’T HAVE NIGHTMARES.

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I was sick last week. Not actually physically sick (not in the Exorcist way, at least), but certainly ill. It sucked (another word that I’ve just discovered should not be combined with a Google search with the safe settings turned off), and was also a real shame as there were some proper internet gems which I was ITCHING to write about for your pleasure. I didn’t, though – instead I sat on the couch and felt sorry for myself and played Limbo, which is brilliant.

This probably doesn’t need to be reiterated, but Toy Story 3 is also brilliant. In the unlikely event that anyone from the American Department of Homeland Security is reading this (and given that this is now the second time I’ve linked to that website, there’s every possibility that they are WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE), then here’s a tip; leave off using music to break prisoners at Guantanamo, and instead commission Pixar to create a tearjerking animated short designed to persuade those pesky terrormongers of the error of their ways. You can have that for free.

There’s a whole raft of stuff to get through this week, some of it even quite good, so I’m not going to bother writing any more of this bit as I know noone really reads it anyway.

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