Hill+Knowlton Strategies

I believe it was contemporary urban philosopher Ferris Bueller who once said ‘Life moves pretty fast; if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it’ (NB – on reflection, I don’t know why I wrote that; I hate people who ascribe deep significance to the throwaway utterances of fictional characters. IT WAS WRITTEN BY A SCREENWRITER, YOU CHUMP). This edition of Web Curios is brought to you by the whooosh-ing sound that time makes as it flies past your ears; it seems like only yesterday that I was writing the last one of these, talking about holidays and the end of summer and stuff. All of a sudden it’s December, I’ve not written a Curios for a month (not that any of you CARE, you unappreciative whelps), and you can’t turn on the television without a famous trying to sell you stinkwater. On an unrelated note, I am yet to eat a mince pie in 2011. If anyone would like to courier some over to H&K towers, I will be very grateful and possibly do a small happy dance in gratitude; thanks (in the unlikely event that HRH Prince Charles is reading this, I am a massive fan of Duchy Originals).

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I always regret not going home for Thanksgiving, as it is one of the my favorite days of the year. No gift pressure. Just food, family, friends and football. I’ve resisted the urge to spray some pepper on the turkey below because today is about the best of America and my country’s roots as a nation made strong by immigrants from all lands. Now that I am one myself, this really hits home. I did however balance the sweet sentimentality of this Rockwell painting with an old favorite Thanksgiving theme video embedded below. People here in the London office didn’t quite get the appeal, so it might be an American thing. You’re welcome.

Norman Rockwell: Thanksgiving

Phew. Three weeks since I last did one of these, and my word has there been a lot going on. Bankers have shut down a church (well, you know, indirectly)! The Sun gave us possibly the most tasteless frontpage in years! One of the most appalling hatecrimes of the (admittedly newish) decade was committed to little or no mainstream media fanfare! France and Germany mocked Italy’s sexually incontinent Premier! The filthy rich just keep on getting richer! And loads more besides, much of it even more dispiriting than those few links I’ve just shared.

Ignoring the fact that world is going to hell in the proverbial handcart, though, I’ve actually had rather a lot of fun (because that is obviously the MOST IMPORTANT THING). I’ve seen comedy; I’ve been to an awesome gig;I’ve been to the theatre and seen probably the most harrowing play I’ve ever seen, ever (actually, make that the second-most harrowing - this was probably worse); I’ve eaten some truly tremendous food; and I got to see a truly tremendous rapper live in a tiny venue. So, you know, I’m alright. Are you alright? I’m starting to worry.

Anyway, enough of this. Make yourself a cup of tea, settle down in a suitably confortable chair, and imagine my soothing, dulcet tones reading this out to you (and, if you like, imagine my malcoordinated body acting out every single video too. You pervert). You may want to get some biscuits too; this could take a while.

Image courtesy of Neutron, LLC

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Why me...one of the questions you'll be asked

If you’ve been thinking about applying to Hill & Knowlton’s graduate scheme but not sure where to start or what we’re looking for, here are some top tips from our current crop of H&K grads, Chris, Daisy and Becca on what makes a successful grad applicant:

1. Read widely and understand your industry

PR is a broad discipline and spans many sectors, including consumer packaged goods, technology, healthcare, retail & leisure, financial & professional services just to name a few. It’s important like any other job to familiarise yourself with the industry and the sectors involved. A good starting point is to pick up with a copy of PR Week and read about the latest news and campaigns and increase your media consumption to see how brands and companies are being talked about in the press.

2. Digital ‘do’

There’s no denying that digital is important these days. Most campaigns have some form of digital element involved so it’s important to have an understanding of how Facebook, Twitter and blogger campaigns work. Research around successful digital campaigns and come armed with examples of digital work you’ve seen and liked. Even better, try and think about why they’ve worked (or haven’t) and what you would do to differently.

Also, if you’re not on Twitter already, it’s always worth opening an account and try to understand how it works.

3. Be prepared

Take a look at H&K’s website to see our recent campaigns, the brands we look after and community manage to familiarise yourself with the work we do. You can also find us on Twitter, HANK and vimeo to give you a better idea of what it’s like working at H&K towers.

4. Be a team player

We work in a collaborative environment, be it cross-sector or across different markets. If you do get invited to the assessment day, remember to pace yourself, listen to others contributions and don’t try and dominate with your own. It is difficult to ignore the fact that you are essentially competing against all other people on the day, but those who take that attitude into the team task are doomed to failure. Be prepared to work together to shine as a team.

Remember no idea is a bad idea during a brainstorm. Look to build upon or take inspiration from other ideas rather than dismissing them, and make sure all feedback is constructive rather than critical.

5. And finally…

Don’t be afraid to eat as many sandwiches as you want at lunch on the day of the assessment. Your lack of fear in taking the last egg and cress could give you a competitive edge due to increased energy levels in the second half of the day.

Good luck!

Follow the grads on:

@chrissssmith

@daisysheps

@juange18

@liyywln

“Seasons of mist and mellow fruitfulness; close bosom friend of the maturing sun…” – or that’s what Keats said. Personally speaking, I think Keats can do one, as can September and Autumn in general. Everything smells of wet dog and regret, it’s cold and miserable and it’s now just the long, slow trudge towards another season of crass mass-consumerism and endless, interminable, incomprehensible perfume adverts (NB – anyone who works in advertising who reads this, please feel free to explain to me why perfume advertising is so oblique, as I have literally no idea).

Think, then, of this edition of Web Curios as the lightbox to your SAD, the plaster to your axewound (for future reference, an unpleasant conjunction of words to Google), the United Nations to your genocide. I’m here to help. To that end, here are some recommendations for awesome stuff you can do in London over the next few months (NB – that last link is one of the best things I’ve seen in years, very much recommended. Oh, and for an interesting take on Libya, you could do worse than read this). In the real world! NOT ON THE INTERNET! Crazy but true.

But for now it’s still all about the internet. Well, on this particular blog it is, anyway. If you don’t like it, you know what you can do (though I’d prefer it if you didn’t; I’m needy, and low-to-moderate traffic figures are all that’s standing between me and a P45).

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Guess who’s back? NO, IT IS NOT EMINEM! IT IS ME! (Though in fairness our level of musical / performing talent is comparable) Stop gawping at the back – I AM NOT DEAD! I wish that there was some sort of exciting reason for Web Curios’ long absence – an enthralling, Willy Fog-esque journey, an unexpected temporary career change, an unforeseen visit to chokey…but no, nothing so thrilling. Like Schrodinger’s Cat, Web Curios’ existence was momentarily uncertain – but now I am most definitely here. I think.

Anyway, there’s a lot to catch up on. Some people’s phones got hacked and everyone got VERY ANGRY; the most powerful man in the world turned 50; my new favourite rapper released a mixtape; I went to Boston and saw none of it (but did get to fly business class and thus received a pair of complimentary pyjamas – THANKS VIRGIN –  which was well worth the £3,000 that the flights apparently cost); oh, God, loads of things.

None of that matters, though. What does matter is that you immediately click on this link and donate money to stop people dying of starvation in Somalia. Thanks.

Frankly nothing that you’re going to read from hereon in matters one iota compared to the above, but it’s probably going to be marginally more cheering. Read on, and make your Friday afternoon of wageslavery marginally less soul-crushingly worthless than it might otherwise be.

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As you may know from previous posts, I’m a devotee of Lucy Kellaway’s weekly column in the FT on working life. Her missive last week declared war on the use of Powerpoint by presenters. As she sees it, Powerpoint leads to boring, ineffective presentations which “lower the quality of discussion and lead to bad decisions”.

We wouldn’t go that far, but we do recognise there is a definite art to the use of Powerpoint to make sure that it’s a useful tool for supporting your delivery to an audience. So, below are a series of top tips from across the agency on how we believe you can get the best out of it.Thanks to Ed, Nick, Matt and Candace for their thoughts.

Powerpoint - making best use of it can be tricky (Image: PresentationMagazine.com)

1. Know when (not) to use it – Powerpoint isn’t Word, and similarly Word isn’t Powerpoint. Sadly, they’re often mistaken as being interchangeable. They aren’t. Powerpoint slides and lots of text are a very unhappy couple and serve to do only two things: bore your audience, and distract them from your speech as they struggle to read all the information on the slide. This is something Lucy Kellaway’s colleague noted in a defence of Powerpoint this week.

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Well all good things must come to an end, the best man won and the winner takes it all but let’s face it, it’s not the winning but the taking part that’s important. And just like our time here with Dave as his trusted advisors, Marie and I present to you the last edition of the Apprentice Awards for the series.

Drumroll please…and the winner of the….

Walking cliché award goes to the man that does exactly what it says on the tin, Jim Eastwood. Jim also contributed to the episode’s quote of the week with a CV reading, “I’m not a show pony or a one-trick pony, I’m not a jackass or a stubborn mule, and I’m definitely not a wild stallion that needs to be tamed. I am the champion thoroughbred that this process requires.” This followed by arguably the best quote of the series as Margaret turns to him and asks, “What impression does that give me? That you’re a bit of an ass?” Classic Marge.

The Brand lives on award- From wild stallion to ponies in a field. For those following conversations on Twitter last night, you would have noticed The Brand trending worldwide. It seems like we just can’t get enough of lovable Stuart Baggs. Not only has The Brand hired himself a PR company to look after his reputation, he’s also heading to Scotland to perform a one-off stand up comedy show at this year’s Edinburgh Festival. God help us all.

Commiserations award goes to all work and no play (nor imagination) Helen Milligan. One has to question the value of tasks in this series. With Helen winning a total of ten tasks, compared to Tom’s measly three, Helen could well have been a potential winner had the series been following last year’s format; probably the most gutting form of solace anyone could have been given.

Adding to this, Marie’s ever-literal and practical hubby-to-be pointed out that actually we didn’t need to go through 12 weeks of this nonsense to get to this conclusion. If they looked at the business plans and CVs in week one, Tom would have been immediately anointed as the top of the ‘entrepreneurial elite’. However on that basis, the reluctant accountant with an allergy to verbs and prepositions, who left in the first week might have actually stood a chance given that numbers, balance sheets, and P&L were the downfall of most of the interviewed finalists (even the winner) in week 12.

But let’s face it, without the process we would have missed out on a lot laughs, cringes and reasons to feel good about ourselves.

Junior Apprentice in autumn – bring it on!

I really shouldn’t be writing this, you know. I should, instead, be continuing to whore my brain out for The Man – but instead I defy him in order to…er…waste a couple of hours knocking this rubbish out JUST FOR YOU! I expect you all to contribute to the ‘feed and clothe Matt’ fund once the near-inevitable P45 finds its way to my desk.

Perhaps, though, The Man is still basking in the warm, fuzzy, near-post-coital aftermath of THAT WEDDING (or maybe he’s still cleaning up, or possibly reflecting on the appropriateness or otherwise of letting the peons daub a car with their messages of support to the happy couple), or perhaps he’s still singing along triumphantly with most of America (but not, it must be noted, all of America). Perhaps he’s wracked with uncertainty as to the outcome of the AV vote (he’s not. Noone is. Not even this poor git). Maybe he’s at home, polishing his small pewter figurine of John Paul II. MAYBE I WILL GET AWAY WITH IT! Webmongs, I am infused with the slightly shaky feeling that you get after a sudden rush of adrenaline or a couple of grammes of plantfood (speaking of which, this is my favourite response to this week’s BIG NEWS STORY- who says drugs are bad for you?); as a result, this week’s Web Curios will most likely have the slightly sketchy, pasty feel of an NA meeting (but without the relentless, self-absorbed confessionals). I hope you enjoy it as much as I don’t enjoy the inevitable, grinding, post-Curios comedown.

Batman had met his match

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Contrary to what you may have feared, I AM NOT DEAD! Put away your wreaths, unveil your faces and break out the bunting, for Web Curios is BACK (I just tried doing a Google Image search for Web Curios – beautifully, several of the initial results are pictures of The Man. Hello, The Man!). Admittedly it’s only back for a week, as I am on HOLIDAY next Friday, but frankly you should be grateful for whatever you’re given at this stage.

In my absence, webmongs, I have seen things of which you can only dream. I have seen Slough and a Tesco’s so large that approaching it is like that opening bit in the first Star Wars film with the massive spaceship that goes on and on and on and (Slough FACT: there’s a pun in Slough town centre called the Wernham Hogg, named after the fictional company in The Office (which was of course set in Slough); I can’t work out whether this is a brilliant piece of self-satirisation or actually one of the saddest things ever, though I know which way I intuitively lean). I have been to Barcelona on a stag party, accompanied (amongst others) by a charming man known as ‘Big Sam’ who was recently cleared of common assault after breaking a man’s jaw on the fotball pitch (needless to say Big Sam and I didn’t really have much in common), where I danced to techno like a teenager and was thrown out of a nightclub (I came back in again 5 minutes later though).  Oh, and I’ve done work as well, some of it actually not that bad.

Obviously, though, this is all utterly immaterial in the face of the world’s continued descent into what appears to be total chaos. Better people than me have written at length about everything that’s been going on over the past month (and worse people – check out this spectacular piece of ad placement from last week’s Metro), but can I suggest that you perhaps donate some money to the relief effort in Japan? Or if you prefer music, maybe buy tickets for this? Oh, and if you’re interested in the geopolitical upheaval sweeping the Middle East and its potential implications for China you could do worse than read this piece by Francis Fukuyama in the Wall Street Journal this week (don’t get smug, though, Franky – you were still totally wrong about the END OF HISTORY thing). Or, if you prefer your commentary a little more raw, there are few people more on the money about conflict than The War Nerd.

Oh, and one last thing before I wang on about the internet and cats and stuff. I was reminded this week about the way in which Facebook is used as a tribute site when people die, particularly in the case of the young. This is, of course, perfectly fine. As someone who relatively recently had to administer the page of someone young who died, though, can I please point out that WHAT YOU WRITE MATTERS. I don’t mean to come across as stuffy (HEAVEN FORFEND) but I’m not entirely convinced that the term ‘RIP’ benefits from an exclamation mark (hey, kids, punctuation changes emphasis. You idiots) or indeed that a sad smiley is an adequate response to death. Just saying, like.

Ahem. Oh, and one last thing – Web Curios this week contains no Rebecca Black whatsoever. You can thank me in the comments.

One of a series of posters designed to commemorate the Fukushima earthquake. Click for more.

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