Guess who’s back? NO, IT IS NOT EMINEM! IT IS ME! (Though in fairness our level of musical / performing talent is comparable) Stop gawping at the back – I AM NOT DEAD! I wish that there was some sort of exciting reason for Web Curios’ long absence – an enthralling, Willy Fog-esque journey, an unexpected temporary career change, an unforeseen visit to chokey…but no, nothing so thrilling. Like Schrodinger’s Cat, Web Curios’ existence was momentarily uncertain – but now I am most definitely here. I think.
Frankly nothing that you’re going to read from hereon in matters one iota compared to the above, but it’s probably going to be marginally more cheering. Read on, and make your Friday afternoon of wageslavery marginally less soul-crushingly worthless than it might otherwise be.
I am in the slightly surreal position of writing this Curios whilst our blog is in fact broken (a fact in no way due to incompetence on the part of anyone, no sirree), meaning that there is NO GUARANTEE that any of you will be able to read this sparkling prose. It’s strangely liberating, much like the fact that I am sitting here clad in nothing but a tshirt and a winning smile. I could say ANYTHING!
I won’t, of course; I need the money that webmonging provides. Instead, I will pause a moment to reflect upon a week in which it turns out that God’s not quite ready for us yet (unless of course the Rapture in fact happened and it simply turned out that He took a good look at us and thought “Actually, hang on, none of this shower is worth saving”. It wouldn’t be that surprising, given, you know, stufflikethis); in which Ryan Giggs realised that you can’t in fact sue the internet (an aside – does anyone else think there’s something STARTLINGLY VULGAR about the incredible speed at which the Imogen Thomas cash-in vehicle is now moving? The full-page Paddy Power ads in this morning’s Metro were a particular highlight; well done, everyone, aren’t we CLEVER!), thus hopefully putting an end to this startlingly tedious superinjunction business (or that’s what Giles Coren hopes, anyway. Out of interest, if I just write Gareth Barry’s name here does that mean that I go to jail too?); in which some of the most powerful men in the world met in London (and they let The Man play too!) to take part in what appears to have been the worst game of table tennis ever played; and in which over 13,000 people LISTENED TO MY VOICE – on that point, in the unlikely event that anyone from Radio 4 is reading this and you fancy mixing up your roster of continuity announcers a bit, I am absolutely open to offers. HIRE ME, RADIO 4.
I have no idea why, but I love this picture very much indeed.
Things About The Internet:
These aren’t new news, so I won’t dwell on them as you’ve doubtless read about them on some other SOCIAL MEDIA GURU’S blog, but Facebook has added the ability to tag Pages in photos (thus giving us all that longed-for ability to link to Coca Cola’s Facebook page from our pictures. Hear that sound? That’s the sound of thousands and thousands of souls, fizzing sadly into nothingness as we take one more step towards being nothing more than dead-eyed marketing shills!), and has also updated the manner in which its ‘Share’ functionality works, allowing users to share links with specific Groups / Friends. There’s nothing evil about that, I don’t think.
This IS New – Google Correlate – New cleverness from Google, allowing you to map search terms against each other to find patterns. It’s appallingly hard to explain, or at least it is for me; they do it rather better on the site, so I suggest that you go there.
Social Search and Filter Bubbles and Stuff: Both Google and Bing hace recently been wanging on about their increased commitment to integrating social into search; that is, factoring in data from your Facebook and Twitter profiles when compiling search results. WHY IS THIS A GOOD IDEA? Ok, so I’m possibly being a luddite about this, but my friends are not necessarily experts on stuff I am searching for. Just because 8 morons who I used to go to school with and haven’t spoken to in 16 years happen to ‘like’ a story from the Mail Online doesn’t mean I want it appearing at the top of my search rankings. Ok, so obviously it’s more sophisticated than this, but this is a prime example of the growing problem of filter bubbles, as brilliantly explained in this recent TED talk by Eli Pariser (it really is interesting, I promise) – that is, information filtering based on existing tastes / preferences, and the problem of sourcing that this can and does create; when the web can learn our tastes, can provide us with prioritised information based on what our friends – who are likely to be like us – are consuming, what are the long-term consequences? This isn’t a new concept – after all, people have been reading the newspaper that best reinforces their existing worldview for years – but one that will become increasingly relevant as automated curation becomes ’smarter’ (or, at the very least, more ubiquitous). Perhaps we should all make an effort to take our news from a different source each week? Just a thought.
Ana Somnia – I’ve never been a little girl, and it’s unlikely this state of affairs will change in this lifetime; nonetheless, had I been one this is what I like to imagine my dreams would have been like. An awesomely trippy website which is halfwaybetween storybook and art project, and which has one of the most captivatingly creepy and odd soundtracks I’ve heard in a while. Click and play – a lot of it’s procedurally generated, it would seem, which means each of you will experience it in a different manner.
Vorsong Iceberg Energy Water Feng Shui Brand! – I’m reasonably sure that this is some sort of spoof, but I’m buggered if I can work out of what / why. If it’s not, there are some very, very strange people marketing this water.
Er, Horseracing? – I don’t read Japanese, therefore my ability to understand what in the name of sweet Baby Jesus this is about is pretty much 0. It’s…just mental, really. Just click stuff until the race starts and watch, mouth agape, at the ensuing oddness.
Dumb Tweets At Brands – Sometimes the quality of ‘engagement’ brands can achieve through social media is of questionable value.
Alan Sailer takes amazing pictures. Click the image for more.
The HitchHiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – This Wednesday was Towel Day, and reminded me not only of the sheer amazingness of Douglas Adams’ work but also how good the original Hitchhiker’s game was. I say ‘game’; it’s more an interactive novel, the whole thing written by Adams’ himself and containing some brilliant gags and some of the most impressive / frustrating (depending on your mood) examples of lateral thinking you will ever find. Take the afternoon off and play it. You too, The Man!
Some Wordy Stuff:
Ulysses, On Twitter – Literary experimentation in 140 characters isn’t new (I covered this in a VERY early web curios, for example), but this is a really interesting experience. The idea is to recruit a bunch of James Joyce aficionados to take sections of the legendarily ‘challenging’ novel and submit them to a central account, from which they will be tweeted on 16th June as part of Bloomsday (an annual celebration of Joyce’s life and work) – as the novel unfolded over the course of a single day, so the Tweets will reflect the narrative. Will be interesting to see how it works.
Live Writing Projection – This might be my favourite thing on here this week. As part of the promotion for New Zealand’s BNZ literary awards, the opening lines of short stories were projected onto public spaces in Aotea Square, Auckland. And then passers-by started to realise that the story being written might be about them…
Motion Poems – Poetry set to animation. Some really beautiful work on here; recommended.
Katie Alves paints scenes from films on people's eyelids. This is The Nightmare Before Christmas.
VideoStuff! Enjoy – and given the fact that it’s our last bank holiday for AGES, I ORDER you to slack off for the rest of the day and watch all of them.
1) I’m opening with what is by far and away the most rubbish song I’ve featured on Curios for AGES. It’s worth it, though, for the video is all kinds of supervideogamegeekery. See how many retrogame references you can spot – there are HUNDREDS in there. I’m thinking that the audience for this is going to be primarily male. Oh, and if you do like this song then you are a cloth-eared dunce. Sorry, but it’s true. Goldfish, with “When We Come Together”:
2) This, on the other hand, is a great song by a band called Bad Lamps. The video, made by some random off the internet, features what I think is a whole host of clips from porn movies, strung together to accompany the song. There’s no nudity whatsoever, and there’s something weirdly poignant about seeing the nonsex elements of bongo movies:
3) This song about smoking has a fair bit of Johnny Cash’s ‘Boy Named Sue’ about it, which is no bad thing, and the video is very Terry Gilliam / Monty Python-esque, which is also good. Made me really want a tab:
4) Loom is a jaw-dropping piece of animation. Probably not great if you’re an arachnophobe, mind:
5) God, OFWGKTA are SO LAST MONTH. If you never found any of their output upsetting or abrasive enough then you’ll very much like Full Moon by current internet obsession Death Grips:
6) PHEW, THAT WAS A BIT MUCH WASN’T IT? Let’s come down with this, by Black Light Dinner Party. It will make you want to be a New York hipster, just a little bit. Older Together:
7) I have no idea who this girl is, but her endearingly inept (and very, very sweary) cover of ODB’s “Got Your Money” has made her my new favourite internet person. I bet she’d be THRILLED to know that:
It’s a remote control plane, THAT LOOKS LIKE A SUPERHERO. Amazing. Want one:
9) To close, this week’s eyemeltingly strange video of the week – there’s a point in this that genuinely makes me shudder each time I watch it. ENJOY!!!!
I really shouldn’t be writing this, you know. I should, instead, be continuing to whore my brain out for The Man – but instead I defy him in order to…er…waste a couple of hours knocking this rubbish out JUST FOR YOU! I expect you all to contribute to the ‘feed and clothe Matt’ fund once the near-inevitable P45 finds its way to my desk.
HELLO! This Friday marks what, as far as I’m concerned, is the end of the last working week in April. Next weekend we have death, resurrection and ceremonial chocolate sweats; the weekend afterwards we have a nation descending into drunken, vomitous chaos in the name of a patriotic spirit long-forgotten (oh, and there’s a wedding happening too). As a result of people indulging in this sort of behaviour, it’s unlikely any of us will have got over the jaundice before May at the earliest (NB – Web Curios does not condone excessive drinking unless it’s as an expression of royalist fervour, in which case go for your lives webmongs).
As a result of the imminent HOLIDAY, this week’s Curios is going to be relatively light on work-related stuff. Obviously, though, it’s all still GOLD. ENJOY, DAMN YOU.
Web 2 Summit kicked off with heavyweight Eric Schmidt of Google. He jumped on the trending topic list in SF, proving my theory that tweets make the best sound bites. Here’s some that caught my eye.
It does get better. It’s true, it does and I know. I remember being bullied at school for not having the Somerset accent that everyone else had and for being ‘different’. I didn’t know for sure then but when I look back I guess I did know I was gay at a fairly young age and clearly this made me a target with the lads at school. It was horrible, I hated it but luckily for me I did think it would get better… and it did. I’m now happily living with my partner in Spain and have the support of family, friends and even here at H&K who encourage a diverse workforce and a implement a robust policy on harassment based on your sexual orientation.
So it has been heart-warming to see so many amazing videos being posted as part of the It Gets Better campaign on social media networks such as Facebook and YouTube from people in authority trying to instil a air of calm and refection during a time of deep soul searching in the USA with regard to how it views its youth as they grow and find out about themselves and where they fit in society. From the moment the news broke of Tyler Clementi terrible suicide in the United States following his horrific ‘outing’ by fellow students the issues facing young people, not only in the US but all over the globe has been highlighted in quite startling clarity.
Raymond Chase (19yrs old), Asher Brown (13yrs old), Billy Lucas (15yrs old) and Seth Walsh (13yrs old) all took their own lives due to not being able to cope with the pressures of growing up in a society that does not appear to protect and support their own. They ALL should still be alive today growing and contributing to society and with the love and protection of their friends and family.
I was lucky I guess, I knew it would get better. It was tough, but it did. My advice to all of those who might see this who are feeling terrible, exposed and frightened is that you should watch these videos. Take strength from them and ask for support. I wish this campaign huge success and would love to see it becoming more global as these issues are not exclusive to the USA. For those of you worried or seeking help and support in the UK I would suggest you call the London Lesbian & Gay Switchboard on 020 7837 7324. Below are a few of the videos I found powerful, moving and worthy of being mentioned. Oh and mine!
Joel Burns – Fort Worth City Councilman reaches out to GLBT teens with a personal story and a message of hope. For more information, or to stand with Joel today, go to http://www.joelburns.com It’s a bit long but well worth watching to the end!
A fantastic video by Google employees in California telling their stories
President Barack Obama shares his message of hope and support for LGBT youth who are struggling with being bullied.
… and me, doing my small bit to let kids out there know that however tough it seems right now. It does get better!
It’s been said before, Webmongs, but work really is like being at school. I turned up to the daily grind on Wednesday having run out of hairwax (regular readers will recall Web Curios’ previous unsuccessful attempts to solicit brand gifts of icecream, whisky and meths – in case anyone from Toni & Guy is reading this, I favour Label M products, fyi), and as a result looking more like this than my usual Shockheaded Peter ’style’. Anyone would think that I had turned up casually wearing the carcass of a recently butchered child as an overcoat, such was the horror that greeted me; so much so that my adorable colleagues in the CPG team felt compelled to force some hair product on me and make me wear it. Thanks, girls: way to boost a social inadequate’s self esteem!
Obviously this INCREDIBLE STORY pales into insignificance before the (real, no cynicism) incredible tale of those blokes in the mine. You can read about it elsewhere, and doubtless you already have, but my favourite thing about the remarkable tale (aside from the number of conversations I’ve had where people have speculated as to how friendly they will have become with each other during those long, lonely hours in the dark – there really is no link I can put in there that won’t offend someone, sadly) was the joyful email we here at H&K towers received from a Chilean colleague, which finished with the beautiful, sweary exclamation of joy “VAMOS CHILE MIERDA!!”. You’ve got to love a country where the accepted exclamation of national pride contains a swear.
I was sick last week. Not actually physically sick (not in the Exorcist way, at least), but certainly ill. It sucked (another word that I’ve just discovered should not be combined with a Google search with the safe settings turned off), and was also a real shame as there were some properinternetgems which I was ITCHING to write about for your pleasure. I didn’t, though – instead I sat on the couch and felt sorry for myself and played Limbo, which is brilliant.
This probably doesn’t need to be reiterated, but Toy Story 3 is also brilliant. In the unlikely event that anyone from the American Department of Homeland Security is reading this (and given that this is now the second time I’ve linked to that website, there’s every possibility that they are WATCHING MY EVERY MOVE), then here’s a tip; leave off using music to break prisoners at Guantanamo, and instead commission Pixar to create a tearjerking animated short designed to persuade those pesky terrormongers of the error of their ways. You can have that for free.
There’s a whole raft of stuff to get through this week, some of it even quite good, so I’m not going to bother writing any more of this bit as I know noone really reads it anyway.
I awoke this morning feeling wonderful – the weather was a bit pony, admittedly, but it was FRIDAY and I had 2 days of pseudo-freedom to look forward to before reapplying the shackles of gainful employment. Things were looking good, webmongs…and then I had an 8:30am conference call which pretty much screwed my day entirely. It’s hard to explain its effect without resorting to cheap hyperbole, so I shan’t try; suffice it to say that it was the psychological equivalent of making a series of small but well-placed papercuts between each of my toes and then taking a saline foot-bath; of flaying the skin from my bones and then rolling across the great Salt Lake Desert.
But! It’s not just about me (it is, actually, but let’s pretend). What’s been going on in the world since we last spoke? Oh, loads of stuff. Old Spice did THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET EVER – or at least that’s what a bunch of generic media idiots think; real people, on the other hand, remained utterly oblivious to the fact that a man with his shirt off was massaging the egos of a host of people on Twitter. They also remained reluctant to purchase the frankly horrifyingly-scented product in question (though a note to all the PR/marketing gurus/ninjas/mavens (*vomits*) who are running around shouting FAIL! – let’s look at figures in a year’s time and then judge the campaign, eh? And frankly I’m sure that the fine folk at W&K will be crying into their vintage Veuve at Cannes this time next year when they’re hoovering cocaine from the tanned midriff s of teenage models whilst clutching multiple Lions of varying hues).
It’s hard to know where to start this week. THERE HAS SIMPLY BEEN SO MUCH HAPPENING. Frankly, though, it probably doesn’t matter what I write here (yes, I know that it never matters, but indulge me) given the fact that The Rapture is almost certainly nearly upon us. Look at the evidence – volcanoes, strange lights in the sky, Nick ‘Casanova’ Clegg now a shoo-in at No.10 after proving himself the least robotic and inhuman of our three potential leaders on TV last night…the end times are coming. Frankly it’s only a matter of moments before the skies are filled with smug Christians all laughing and pointing as they are raised up to heaven to watch the rest of us boil in fiery eternal torment (obviously there is NOTHING remotely un-Christian about this image). With that in mind we might as well enjoy our last moments, and what better way to do that than to waste the final precious minutes of life remaining to us by staring catatonically at a computer screen and ‘enjoying’ this week’s roundup of ephemeral rubbish that couldn’t be any less consequential? But before we get started, an amazing photo of a volcano (no, not this one) from the most amazing man on Twitter, @Astro_Soichi:
Two lakes inside a volcano, taken from space. Yes, SPACE.
It’s a remote control plane, THAT LOOKS LIKE A SUPERHERO. Amazing. Want one:
