Hill+Knowlton Strategies

Contrary to what you may have feared, I AM NOT DEAD! Put away your wreaths, unveil your faces and break out the bunting, for Web Curios is BACK (I just tried doing a Google Image search for Web Curios – beautifully, several of the initial results are pictures of The Man. Hello, The Man!). Admittedly it’s only back for a week, as I am on HOLIDAY next Friday, but frankly you should be grateful for whatever you’re given at this stage.

In my absence, webmongs, I have seen things of which you can only dream. I have seen Slough and a Tesco’s so large that approaching it is like that opening bit in the first Star Wars film with the massive spaceship that goes on and on and on and (Slough FACT: there’s a pun in Slough town centre called the Wernham Hogg, named after the fictional company in The Office (which was of course set in Slough); I can’t work out whether this is a brilliant piece of self-satirisation or actually one of the saddest things ever, though I know which way I intuitively lean). I have been to Barcelona on a stag party, accompanied (amongst others) by a charming man known as ‘Big Sam’ who was recently cleared of common assault after breaking a man’s jaw on the fotball pitch (needless to say Big Sam and I didn’t really have much in common), where I danced to techno like a teenager and was thrown out of a nightclub (I came back in again 5 minutes later though).  Oh, and I’ve done work as well, some of it actually not that bad.

Obviously, though, this is all utterly immaterial in the face of the world’s continued descent into what appears to be total chaos. Better people than me have written at length about everything that’s been going on over the past month (and worse people – check out this spectacular piece of ad placement from last week’s Metro), but can I suggest that you perhaps donate some money to the relief effort in Japan? Or if you prefer music, maybe buy tickets for this? Oh, and if you’re interested in the geopolitical upheaval sweeping the Middle East and its potential implications for China you could do worse than read this piece by Francis Fukuyama in the Wall Street Journal this week (don’t get smug, though, Franky – you were still totally wrong about the END OF HISTORY thing). Or, if you prefer your commentary a little more raw, there are few people more on the money about conflict than The War Nerd.

Oh, and one last thing before I wang on about the internet and cats and stuff. I was reminded this week about the way in which Facebook is used as a tribute site when people die, particularly in the case of the young. This is, of course, perfectly fine. As someone who relatively recently had to administer the page of someone young who died, though, can I please point out that WHAT YOU WRITE MATTERS. I don’t mean to come across as stuffy (HEAVEN FORFEND) but I’m not entirely convinced that the term ‘RIP’ benefits from an exclamation mark (hey, kids, punctuation changes emphasis. You idiots) or indeed that a sad smiley is an adequate response to death. Just saying, like.

Ahem. Oh, and one last thing – Web Curios this week contains no Rebecca Black whatsoever. You can thank me in the comments.

One of a series of posters designed to commemorate the Fukushima earthquake. Click for more.

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We are a nation in mourning. We have been denied our RIGHT by the cheating foreigners. Or, as the more level-headed amongst us migh be thinking, we’ve been spared seven years of small-island jingoism and casual racism, dredging up the ashes of empire in unseemly and ugly fashion. Whichever side of that particular fence you fall on (clue: if it’s the wrong side, sling your hook; we don’t need your sort ’round here), the fact remains that football’s not coming home; it’s going to hang out with Roman and the oil barons instead. Don’t worry, though; they’re both fantastic countries with unimpeachable records on human rights! Eh? Oh.

Leaving aside frivolous sporting matters for a moment, it has once again been a BIG WEEK. Everyone’s favourite agent provocateur Julian Assange has been disclosing secrets left right and centre – and noone can complain, because it’s ‘in the public interest’! (this is my new favourite statement, largely because ‘the public’ is such a large, amorphous entity that almost anything can be considered to be, to some degree, in its interest. Basically meaning that anything is, to an extent, permissable. Thanks, Julian, for ushering in a new era of libertarianism). Top Tip for 2011, though – get Julian on your Dead Pool, quick smart.

Elsewhere, the festive season is upon us and so are the advertising campaigns – this video, for example, by La Senza (and I challenge any man reading this to watch that and not feel a bit…well…grubby. I promise; it’s impossible). Web Curios would, however, like to suggest that maybe this year, given how utterly banjaxed everything is, you potentially consider a different approach and perhaps use your monies differently. Or, you know, go ahead and buy that scented candle set that we both know will stay in its packaging in the guest bedroom for evermore. Your call. Of course, if you want to buy me a present then feel free.

(sometimes I think I’m in the wrong industry, you know).

Anyway, enough of this. OTHER STUFF has been happening – INTERNET STUFF (seamless segue, I think you’ll agree). But before we turn our attention to INTERNET STUFF, a picture!

It's Christmas Party Season!!!!

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Hi, as part of the foodie contingent of the H&K blogging bunch I’ll be talking trends, new products and general impressive campaigns in the food & drink industry.

So without further ado, Pot Noodle have launched a “Christmas Flavour” which claims to be a fusion of turkey and stuffing and general Christmas merriment all wrapped in a festive plastic pot.

Although the initial instinct is that there can be nothing less festive than a pot noodle, it begs to differ that the mere intrigue of such a flavour will generate sales on its own. Which spurned me to look at the other unique Food & Drink brands who have jumped on the weird and obscure flavour concoctions to generate not only press coverage but sales too. Here’s my top five controversial flavour combos;

1)      Marmite cheese
Not two things you would consider going together but surprisingly this blend of mature cheddar and yeast extract is actually quite a worthy addition to the fridge. The cheese bites were then followed by rice cakes, bread sticks and finally, pushing it over the edge…chocolate. PR Genius or taking creativity too far? I’m still undecided but the cheesy bites are pretty damn good.

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When the bees die, we all die. Well, about five years afterwards according to people who know… which is slightly worrying as it turns out the bees are dying and the decline started in 2006.

This is not a honey bee, it's an ice-cream ad

Still, setting aside the impending global disaster, I like what Haagen-Dazs are doing about it. I have fond memories of their classic ‘ice-cream = sex’ ads from the 90s but this is more of a foray into Ben & Jerry’s territory. Makes perfect sense as an issue for them and the activity from trying to come up with serious, meaningful solutions to on-pack promotion and activating consumer support is nicely done. The way forward for social marketing.

That's a honey bee

Personally I’m more of a Ben & Jerry’s girl, originally converted by Chunky Monkey. Top three flavours: Phish Food, the alltime classic of Chubby Hubby and frozen yogurt, Cherry Garcia … although Fairly Nuts is now a contender.

Fill in your own punchline.

The fund management industry controls assets worth around $90 trillion worldwide. Deciding how to allocate this money is the task of a global industry that employs more than 50,000 people in the UK alone. Asset managers pride themselves on their ability to analyse their universe of potential investments, and for many it is this methodology or sector knowledge that separates them from the competition and secures their clients.

To communicate an investment strategy, fund managers use all manner of graphs and tables to illustrate performance and highlight the potential of their product but as Monday night’s edition of Newsnight (starting at 26 minutes) highlighted, our ability to represent complicated information is changing.

Presenter David Sillito uses examples such as the charismatic Hans Rosling’s lecture on population and life expectancy to illustrate the compelling nature of modern graphics.

The basic premise of the Newsnight feature is that as the quality and beauty of a presentation increases, so too does our likelihood to pay attention and retain the information.

There is clearly an opportunity for asset managers to use these kinds of graphics with clients and prospects, but also potentially with the media. The websites that serve the investment community have become more visually compelling, I’m thinking in particular of the Financial Times site and innovations such as Alphaville’s Tags graphic for example.

As sites like Citywire add new forms of content such as video, the media is working in partnership with fund managers to generate material. It is not hard to imagine a situation whereby fund mangers with graphics that shed new light on an investment trend could collaborate with media outlets to place their information and at the same time highlight their expertise in important media.

A few illustrations

The video graphic below shows the drop off in the number of flights during the peak of the volcanic ash chaos, but it could just as easily represent investment inflows to major financial markets.

Wheredoesmymoneygo.org looks at how the government is spending our taxes. A fixed income manager could produce something similar to highlight their beliefs about government spending policies and the outlook for the government’s bonds. An interactive version of the graphic below can be found on the website here.

For more on the potential of graphics see the wonderful – http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/ – site.

Coaching my colleagues on their presentation skills recently I’ve been thinking a lot about good and bad narratives.

 And two more 80s remakes hitting the box office, Karate Kid and The A Team, brought this into perspective; in particular the relationship between content and delivery.  C.C. Colton couldn’t  possibly have imagined the negative impact of his aphorism ‘Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’.

To be fair I’ve not seen either of these movies, but in my experience most remakes simply don’t work (and I’m being polite here). They are never as good as the original, in fact they don’t even come close. Usually they’re just a case of form over substance.

Of course that only annoys oldies like me, or younger retro fans.  After all, for those who haven’t seen the previous movie isn’t ‘my’ remake ‘their’ original?

And yet I’m not against adapting stories. One of my favourite guilty pleasures is Cruel Intentions, the almost verbatim teen adaption of Dangerous Liaisons.  It’s clever, witty, has a great cast and tells the story in its own compelling way.  And that’s the clue.

A great story can be retold thousands of times, depending on how you tell it.  Take Shakespeare, an inspiration to narrative makers the world over. I’ve seen everything from toe-tapping musicals to a gangster movie (Joe Macbeth) based on Will’s works.  The quality may have varied, but I’ve found something in them all.

Where so many ‘take two’ blockbusters fall down is that they try to tell the same story in the same way.  No amount of special effects can cover that up.

And that’s where so many pitch narratives fall down, failing to achieve a more individual, compelling, and memorable way to take the audience on a journey. Adaptation, not imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I awoke this morning feeling wonderful – the weather was a bit pony, admittedly, but it was FRIDAY and I had 2 days of pseudo-freedom to look forward to before reapplying the shackles of gainful employment. Things were looking good, webmongs…and then I had an 8:30am conference call which pretty much screwed my day entirely. It’s hard to explain its effect without resorting to cheap hyperbole, so I shan’t try; suffice it to say that it was the psychological equivalent of making a series of small but well-placed papercuts between each of my toes and then taking a saline foot-bath; of flaying the skin from my bones and then rolling across the great Salt Lake Desert.

But! It’s not just about me (it is, actually, but let’s pretend). What’s been going on in the world since we last spoke? Oh, loads of stuff. Old Spice did THE BEST THING ON THE INTERNET EVER – or at least that’s what a bunch of generic media idiots think; real people, on the other hand, remained utterly oblivious to the fact that a man with his shirt off was massaging the egos of a host of people on Twitter. They also remained reluctant to purchase the frankly horrifyingly-scented product in question (though a note to all the PR/marketing gurus/ninjas/mavens (*vomits*) who are running around shouting FAIL! – let’s look at figures in a year’s time and then judge the campaign, eh? And frankly I’m sure that the fine folk at W&K will be crying into their vintage Veuve at Cannes this time next year when they’re hoovering cocaine from the tanned midriff s of teenage models whilst clutching multiple Lions of varying hues).

What else? Paul Gascoigne made a late bid for a post on the UN Security counsel as he demonstrated his peacekeeping skills; The Times revealed the IMMENSE SUCCESS of its paywall policy; the Spanish won a fight; lots more people got a Facebook account; and I went to see this man doing stand-up and fell a bit in love with his genius. But! You don’t care about that! In fact, you probably don’t care about what is to follow either, but no matter. On with the LINKS and INFORMATION and STUFF.

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I was away.  Now I am back. Try and contain your joy (I know it’s hard, but for Christ’s sakes show some backbone, will you?).

So when we last spoke I was about to go on holiday here – unfortunately, I ended up somewhere that looks a lot more like here. It all went to tits, webmongs, and frankly it’s still a bit raw and painful. Suffice it to say that I will not be buying the US Department of Homeland Security a Christmas card this year.

But! It wasn’t all bad! The World Cup started! And then finished again yesterday, as far as I’m concerned (my own personal message to the Italian team can be seen here, should you care to look). Deutschland uber alles for Sunday, by the way. Even better, Big Brother started again! Eh? Oh. Look, I’m not ashamed – until they finally do that televised version of the Stanford Prison Experiment here in the UK, it’s the only place i can get my fix of legitimised pychological torture. And this year it features a man with no legs and only one eye, who frankly cannot fail to win. You don’t vote out the mutilated squaddie – put the house on him to come first (NB – Web Curios accepts no responsibility for houses lost as a result of gambling) The weather’s nice, that self-indulgent tool won’t be ruining Glastonbury, and a Brit’s in with a chance at Wimbledon! Calloo, callay, o frabjous day, etc etc.

Oh, who am I trying to kid? I totally failed to go on holiday and spent a week slumped in front of the (really, really mediocre) football, dulling my frontal lobes with drink and drugs in an attempt to numb the pain as big salty tears trickled down my cheeks. England could well jam their way to winning the World Cup, forcing me to emigrate. The weather may be nice, but I’m a wageslave officemonkey who’s chained to his desk for hours at a time so I can’t enjoy it. And I’m obviously not at Glastonbury. Modern Life Is Rubbish, and so is the blog this week. Suck it up.

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Hey! Look! I’m back. It’s been a long time, webmongs, and I’ve missed you. You especially (but you less so). In last week’s sadly abandoned draft of webcurios (IT screwups and vile, filthy work intervened) I spent a few lines wittering on about how we were now – let’s travel back in time 7 days and see EXACTLY what I was thinking….

*insert wavy flashback lines here*

Everything is blue. Apart from those bits that are yellow. Yes, webmongs, we (well, those of us living in Dave’s Britain – it’s his country, now, and we should be grateful that he’s letting us stay in it. For the moment. Until all the background checks are complete) are having to come to terms with a society in which things are STRANGE and DIFFERENT, and where this image is now permanently burnt onto my retinas:

Just imagine their wedding night. IMAGINE.

*repeat wavy flashback lines as we return to the present*

Wow, I feel like Sam Beckett. No, not that one. This one. He’s loads better (parenthetically, how much would I like Sam to come along and take over my life for a few days right now? OH BOY).

Anyway, a week is a short time in politics, and, frankly, The Cleggeron is passe – ALL HAIL OUR ONE-EYED OLYMPIAN OVERLORDS:

On reflection, Wenlock appears to be excreting rainbows in this image

Now, in the interests of full disclosure I need to point out that my lovable employers are one of the agencies contracted by 2012. Having said that, we had nothing to do with the mascots, so I feel fairly able to speak frankly on them. I think they’re brilliant, in part due to their uncanny resemblance to this long-forgotten purple despot from videogames past:

Less cuddly, on balance

As you’d expect, reaction to the mascots has been…mixed – regardless of your opinion, though, this photoshop thread on B3ta is genius – check it out.

Anyway, I’m absolutely buggered for time this week so enough of this frippery and onwards with the links and ting.

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As the general election dies down and the parties pause and take stock (for a while at least), I thought I’d give my thoughts on why each party failed to really target the people…

I don’t know about you, but all this draconian, propaganda riddled mudslinging between political parties of recent weeks has left a bad taste in my mouth. The Conservatives may be inching their way in to power as I type, but there’s part of me that wonders whether their success lies within their campaigning efforts or whether it was just pure luck…

For some reason, the political parties in the UK still think a generalist approach to marketing will pay off. How, when you’re up against competitors with practically the same arguments to you, are you meant to get your voice heard above the commotion with a ‘one size fits all’ approach? 

In a society where even a Supermarket can tell me what I fancy for dinner and have it delivered to my house before even I know what I want, I was frankly appalled by the generalist approach most parties went about their campaigning. I’m a 24 year old, dare I admit it, first time voter – a potential goldmine for any party that wants to harbour long-time supporters… but where was that nugget of information that would have made a difference to my life?

Yes, I totally see that there’s a need to appeal to the masses – let’s be honest, an election is essentially a popularity contest. But with the increasing level of insight we have into consumer behaviour, perhaps those responsible for creating the leaders’ campaigns should have taken the time to get under our skin a little bit more, rather than take the easy way out and discredit their counterparts. If brands can figure out what we want, why can’t Britain’s politicians?

Well that is my thought on the matter, anyway. Your opinions, as always, are very welcome.