Ignoring the fact that world is going to hell in the proverbial handcart, though, I’ve actually had rather a lot of fun (because that is obviously the MOST IMPORTANT THING). I’ve seen comedy; I’ve been to an awesome gig;I’ve been to the theatre and seen probably the most harrowing play I’ve ever seen, ever (actually, make that the second-most harrowing - this was probably worse); I’ve eaten some truly tremendous food; and I got to see a truly tremendous rapper live in a tiny venue. So, you know, I’m alright. Are you alright? I’m starting to worry.
Anyway, enough of this. Make yourself a cup of tea, settle down in a suitably confortable chair, and imagine my soothing, dulcet tones reading this out to you (and, if you like, imagine my malcoordinated body acting out every single video too. You pervert). You may want to get some biscuits too; this could take a while.
Happy New Year! (I was going to accompany that with an image, but you’d be suprised how NSFW the first Google Image result for that apparently innocent phrase is. Dear God, it’s all just filth on the internet, isn’t it?).
I, though, have been leading the glamorous life of a jetsetter. Apart from on Christmas Day, where I found myself eating a mediocre lunch, alone, at the soulless Gordon Ramseyfranchise at Heathrow Terminal 5. I have been to Rome and Berlin and (unexpectedly, due to being ‘confused’ on new year’s day) Dusseldorf and Amsterdam and San Francisco. I didn’t look at the internet AT ALL for over a fortnight. It was AMAZING.
Now, though, my nose is once again being deprived of multiple epidermal layers as a result of prolonged exposure to the grindstone. I am back ON IT. As such, take a deep breath, make yourselves comfortable, and let me guide you with the assured touch of a skilled lover through this week’s selection of things off the internet. After a picture, to break the monotony:
My vision was a bit like this on New Year's day, hence the Dusseldorf incident
Ach, who am I kidding? September’s been a horrible month, webmongs, and I for one can’t wait to see the back of it. All I can say is that I hope the past few weeks of your lives have been better than the past few weeks of mine. Anyway, enough maudlin whinging; I’ve got nothing this week, ‘comedy’ intro-wise, so on with the webrubbish. ‘Enjoy’.
Hello, webmongs. Happy Friday and all that. As I write, it’s 11:52am and it would appear that EVERYONE on the internet is watching the Beyonce / Lady Gaga lipstick-lesbian product placement extravaganza (otherwise known as the promo for new single ‘Telephone‘). I’m not, though. I am slaving over a hot keyboard to bring you a random, disconnected bunch of rubbish from the internets. SEE MY STAKHANOVITE DEDICATION AND WONDER.
I won’t lie to you, webmongs, it’s been a week of tribulations – who knew babyfaced pop-moppet Mark Owen even had a penis, let alone that he was sharing it with people who weren’t his partner? Shocking. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, let’s get this thing started shall we? The sooner I crack on, the sooner I can start taking furtive sips from the bottle of advocaat I keep hidden under my desk.
SXSW and the ‘Check-In Wars’ – Ok, so ‘wars’ is maybe a little hyperbolic. Nonetheless. SXSW is a 9-day festival covering ‘interactive’, music and film, which takes place in Austin, Texas each year. Basically it’s a great big hipster / techy love-in, populated by the sort of people who only buy music that’s been endorsed by Pitchfork (full disclosure: I am a bit like that). The ‘interactive’ portion is all about new tech and innovation, and ‘features five days of compelling presentations from the brightest minds in emerging technology, scores of exciting networking events hosted by industry leaders and an unbeatable line up of special programs showcasing the best new websites, video games and startup ideas the community has to offer’. Apparently.
Anyway, this year the pre-festival buzz has centred on the growing competition between Foursquare and Gowalla, the two companies currently dominating the world of location-based mobile apps. In the unlikely event that you are reading this and don’t know what they are, read this.
Given the fact that everyone in the Western world is likely to have a smartphone of sorts within the next 24 months, a lot of money is being wagered on location-based apps being the next big thing. This week, both the major playors announced new features – Foursquare plugging its analytics tools that will allow businesses to see who is checking in and when, meaning that they can better tailor their promotions to match their customers; and Gowalla integrating pictures and comments to its check-in service adding an extra layer of sociability to the platform. Whilst Foursquare’s currently winning in terms of users, it will be interesting to see the competition playing out over the next few months.
Oh, and you may not believe that these things are ever going to catch on with real people (ie those who aren’t Soho-dwelling generic media wankers), but the fact that Facebook is set to also allow users to share their location should give you pause for thought. This stuff will go mainstream, honest.
AOL Launches ‘Lifestream’ – Another big trend for the coming months that trendspotters (people with sharp haircuts, sharper glasses and dust where their souls should be) have been banging on about of late is convergence – that is, a move towards integrating your different online platforms and identities in order to make them easier to manage. We’ve already seen this with Facebook, MySpace,LinkedIn, etc, all allowing you to synch your status updates with your Twitter account – AOL’s ‘Lifestream’ is an attempt to create a standalone platform that integrates feeds from ALL your social networks into one place. It’s an interesting concept – not sure if AOL has the clout to make it stick, but again something else which we’ll see more of in coming months.
ANOTHER social app: Plancast – This is worth knowing about, if only because it’s an interesting proposition. Rather than an app that lets you share what you are doing now, Plancast is designed to help you share what you will be doing in the future – basically a social planner app. Really simple, but there’s a gap for exactly that sort of service right now.
Lewis Hamilton’s Secret Life – What do you think Lewis Hamilton does in his spare time? Discusses Baudrillard with his suspiciously transgender-looking girlfriend? Contemplates the theoretical beauty of Euler’s Identity? Stares into space as lonely tears course down his cheeks? Nope, none of those. What he in fact does, according to the new Alternate Reality Game for Reebok which launched this week, is recover stolen artworks like some sort of masculine Lara Croft. I’m frankly puzzled by both the backstory and mechanic for this – I’m a fan of ARGs, but this use of Lewis feels a bit bolted on, frankly, and I’m still unclear as to the link back to the brand.
Attach Digital Content to Barcodes – Bit hard to explain, this, but bear with me. This service allows you to attach digital content to any barcode – that means that if someone scans the barcode with their smartphone, having downloaded the StickyBits app, their phone will automatically take them to the webpage associated to that barcode. So, for example, you could link the Lady Gaga video mentioned all the way up there to the barcode on the CD single – meaning anyone who scanned the barcode with their iPhone could watch the video immediately. Now think about the fact that you can create your own unique barcodes, link them to whatever you want, print them out, stick them to things…the possibilities are huge, particularly for guerilla marketing campaigns.
Raising Awareness Of, And Funds For, he Homeless in NYC – a great piece of creative highlighting the plight of the homeless. As someone pointed out to me, though, it is horrendous that people are more likely to interact with a virtual homeless person than give money to a real one.
1) Last weekend the lead singer of one of my favourite bands, Sparklehorse, committed suicide. Mark Linkous was a very, very talented musician – here’s a small example of that talent:
2) To lighten the mood, watch as infinite teddybears invade Worthing sea front (by the amazing Cyriak):
